My ex with whom I broke up with about 2 weeks ago, we were together for 2 months, but have known each other for a year, but were just friends because I was with someone. But he always told me he was in love with me, and wanted to be with me, so when the opportunity arose I gave him a chance.

About a month into us being together we started having issues with his ex and him still conversing. He said he only talked to him her for her kids, although they weren't his, he said he loved the kids. So I said okay, I'm going to still stay in contact with my ex so we were going tic for tag.

So on a few occasions I would call him and he wouldn't answer the phone and call me early in the morning saying he was sleep or another excuse which happened 4 times. Even though I didn't believe it, I accepted it, but about a week ago his ex exposed everything, saying that they she's his ex and they were still messing around.

He's saying that he love both of us, that he's a liar, and I should leave him alone. Well he called pleading, and begging, admitting to sleeping with her only because he felt insecure, and like I was playing games, because I kept throwing up my ex, and things which were true. He said he wanted to start over, but I don't know what his intentions are.

He kept calling me over the weekend begging, but I told him I hate him and stop calling, and had his number blocked so I haven't heard from him since then, and I miss him now

What should I do?


Edited/T

Keep missing the lying cheater, it will pass, and you can get some one that's better. He had his chance to be a good guy, and blew it, so no hurry in jumping back into that frying pan, and drop the tit for tat games forever.

Should have just dumped him, instead of accepting his behavior, but you tried, but didn't work, and I doubt you ever trust him again. What do you think? Can you really forgive, and forget, or trust?

I understand that you love him however I highly doubt that even if you accepted him back that you would ever be able to trust him again and you would not feel secure. He lied from the beginning and was playing both sides of the fence. Please don't think that will stop if he gets back w/you because generally if he cheats, he will keep on cheating especially when you accepted it THAT early on as a precedent of what you would accept in the relationship. So, keep his number blocked as you are and miss him because next time show a guy how you need to be treated and if he does not do so then on to a better one :-)

Leave him alone and you will get over him.
That is too much drama for a two month relationship.

Relationship?

Sounds more like a soap opera to me-leave it be-get busy doing things you enjoy and move on.

Giving him one chance is enough. Do you think you deserve that? No you don't, so keep yourself occupied with something you like, rather than missing him. Accepting him back will give you more pain and nothing else.

I used to take a guy who badly hurt me back and give him one more chance just to find out two things:

1) I didn't trust him like before and I just kept doubting and rarely be happy having him back.

2) He also proved to me that he's still the same (jerk) person he is and will always be.

Being hurt twice is far worse than just once and take a lot more time to heal. Think about it.

He's not your boyfriend, not really. 2 months? This only seems like a growing up experience. Are there not millions of other guys that want to date you? Pick one, or two, and forget this guy (i.e. do not answer his calls and manipulative explanations and pleas for pity).

It sounds like you're under 30. So date as many guys (responsibly, if you can help it) as you can until you are 30, and learn about men.

This will help you a lot when you find someone more substantial and decide to invest in a long-term relationship.

Im going through a similar situation hun. Although I was with my boyfriend for 3 years. The best thing for you to do is visit a sexual health clinic (whose to say his ex didn't have anything or that he was cheating with someone else). Secondly carry on with what you are doing ignore the tw*t. Its hard I no, its killing me, I live about 5 minutes from him. But it will get better. My mum said to me that I'm not upset of losing him, because I deserve so much better, more like I'm grieving the person I thought he was, someone who I could trust and would treat me right.

Take care hun. And remember it will get easier. Just keep on believing and remember you deserve so much better.

x

What’s the healthy thing to do when you lose something dear to you? You go through a deliberate process of grief. You have to grieve in order to sufficiently heal and feel like yourself once again, and if you don’t the risk is that this issue could plague your relationships for the rest of your life. We certainly don’t want that to happen, do we?

One of the stages of grief that psychologists tell us about is anger, so make sure you don’t beat yourself up over things you said out of intense rage at your boyfriend. He messed around on you with his ex, and if you didn’t get really pissed off I’d say you had deeper problems.

I suspect that he still has feelings for his ex. If he does, then some of his feelings are not available to you because they are still tied up with someone else. Move on and find someone who will reciprocate with you 100%. Please don’t sell yourself short because there are plenty of men out there who will love you totally without holding back feelings they keep reserved for other women.

If the two of you still believe the relationship is worth salvaging, more power to you. But it is going to be a challenge and it will require some hard work. To make it easier I recommend that you both go to a trained relationship counselor and attempt to get back on track under their professional guidance. Therapy will drastically improve your chances of success.

But unless the boyfriend is willing to invest the time and energy for therapy (and pay for it out of his own pocket) then he’s not invested enough in you. You can do a whole lot better with someone who is more caring, appreciative, and honest.