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-   -   What should I think about my boyfriend watching porn every morning in the bathroom (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=586810)

  • Jul 11, 2011, 05:11 AM
    jkelemi
    What should I think about my boyfriend watching porn every morning in the bathroom
    Im pretty sure my boyfriend of 8 months is addicted to porn. I didn't really know anything about him or his addiction till a few months into the relationship! I love him and our sex life never suffered until recently when I let it start bothering me. He takes his phone with him every morning to the bathroom and I'm sure he's looking at porn then afterwards he wants to have sex with me. Is that normal or should I be worried? I recently asked him about it and he's says he just looks at it and always has. He says he rarely masturbates to it and that its just fun to watch. Its just now started bothering me and I feel like I'm not "good enough". He tells me I'm crazy and its not a big deal and even though it didn't bother me at first I can't help but wonder what the real reason behind him watching it is. I think its to petty of a thing to leave someone I love so much over but I need some opinions on this cause I don't want to be stressin on it all the time! Should I let it bother me??
  • Jul 11, 2011, 06:16 AM
    Cat1864
    You're making an assumption that he is looking at porn when he takes his phone in the bathroom. Have you asked him if that is all he is using his phone for?

    Looking at porn in the bathroom on his phone is no different than if he had a stack of magazines or books under the counter. He has told you he likes looking at it just like a lot of other people do. It does not mean he has an 'addiction'. It also doesn't mean he is paying attention to it. It may be something he is viewing while thinking about other things like you.

    Porn is a form of erotica just like romance books, magazines, romantic movies, etc. Even some commercials and ads are highly erotic. Porn is a more explicit form.

    It can be a tool for arousal or getting ideas of things to try or to not even think about trying. It can be entertainment.

    Do you have sex when he hasn't been in the bathroom first? Is he affectionate and intimate in other ways at other times?
  • Jul 11, 2011, 06:21 AM
    excon

    Hello j:

    With all the BIG screens around, NOBODY would opt to watch porn on a teeny tiny screen. Besides, where is he sitting when he's doing this? Is he holding the phone in his other hand?

    Nahhh... The mechanics just aren't there for a pleasurable whacking off session - at least for me..

    excon
  • Jul 11, 2011, 01:51 PM
    talaniman

    Why make this a big deal when it doesn't have to be. Porn for guys is no different than sport, or cartoons. It's a way to pass time. If it gets us aroused and wanting our woman, then so be it, enjoy it. He doesn't whack off but rarely, so what's the problem?

    Deal with your own fears, and insecurities and enjoy your guy.
  • Jul 11, 2011, 04:34 PM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jkelemi View Post
    Should I let it bother me????

    No.
  • Jul 11, 2011, 06:47 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I would be bothered for the fact he is leaving you out of it, unless you have voiced displeasure with watching it. It is a turn on for many men ( everyone has their own turn ons)

    So as him, and tell him if he is, that you both can just watch it on a larger TV in the bedroom and go with it from there.

    Many men even married still masterbate,
  • Jul 11, 2011, 10:12 PM
    jkelemi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    You're making an assumption that he is looking at porn when he takes his phone in the bathroom. Have you asked him if that is all he is using his phone for?

    Looking at porn in the bathroom on his phone is no different than if he had a stack of magazines or books under the counter. He has told you he likes looking at it just like a lot of other people do. It does not mean he has an 'addiction'. It also doesn't mean he is paying attention to it. It may be something he is viewing while thinking about other things like you.

    Porn is a form of erotica just like romance books, magazines, romantic movies, etc. Even some commercials and ads are highly erotic. Porn is a more explicit form.

    It can be a tool for arousal or getting ideas of things to try or to not even think about trying. It can be entertainment.

    Do you have sex when he hasn't been in the bathroom first? Is he affectionate and intimate in other ways at other times?

    That totally makes sense! We do have sex lots of other times and honestly he's always affectionate and intimate... I probably over reacting but I just don't want to be "left out"! Lol.. thanks for your input :)
  • Jul 11, 2011, 10:15 PM
    jkelemi
    Quote:

    QUOTE by excon;
    Hello j:

    With all the BIG screens around, NOBODY would opt to watch porn on a teeny tiny screen. Besides, where is he sitting when he's doing this? Is he holding the phone in his other hand?

    Nahhh... The mechanics just aren't there for a pleasurable whacking off session - at least for me..

    Excon
    I totally agree with the big screen thing! But you just never know about the rest.. lol... thanks for the input!
  • Jul 11, 2011, 10:18 PM
    jkelemi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Why make this a big deal when it doesn't have to be. Porn for guys is no different than sport, or cartoons. Its a way to pass time. If it gets us aroused and wanting our woman, then so be it, enjoy it. He doesn't whack off but rarely, so whats the problem?

    Deal with your own fears, and insecurities and enjoy your guy.

    That's a totally awesome answer! Guess I just feel 2nd.. or left out! Ill deal though because I love jim and our sex life is amazing~just hope the porn not the only reason! Lol
  • Jul 11, 2011, 10:20 PM
    jkelemi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    I would be bothered for the fact he is leaving you out of it, unless you have voiced displeasure with watching it. It is a turn on for many men ( everyone has their own turn ons)

    So as him, and tell him if he is, that you both can just watch it on a larger TV in the bedroom and go with it from there.

    Many men even married still masterbate,

    He better start because I think I just feel left out.. like you said! Its good though... thanks for the input
  • Jul 11, 2011, 10:22 PM
    jkelemi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by slapshot_oi View Post
    No.

    Nice! Glad you put it like that :)

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