20 Year Old Daughter Has a Meltdown
My 20 year old daughter who is a junior at a local college came home over Christmas break and had a meltdown. We sat her down and told her she would have to help with some household chores and that her boyfriend was not allowed to sleep in her bedroom with her. We said he is welcome, but he would have to sleep in a separate bedroom. Her response to us was to pack up her stuff, rail obscenities and hurtful things, insult us and then take off in the nice Ford Focus we bought her for her 16th birthday. She went to stay at her boyfriends parents home until the start of the spring semester. They are okay with it. She has sent me insulting emails still blaming me and her dad for everything and judging our life style and our personalities. Now she has decided to get an apartment near school with her boyfriend and is telling us we should give her the room and board portion we pay the school. She thinks it would save us money and she could then live there 12 months out of the year until she graduates next year. I told her our answer is no. She says we are trying to control her by not giving her the money and therefore forcing her to live in the sorority house. I do not agree. We also asked her to start paying for her own car gas, car insurance and cell phone. We paid for everything and gave her our credit card for emergencies. She is telling me she is an adult and she will do what she wants and can’t understand my hang up. She thinks it is because she is having sex. Well, I’ve know this fact since about six months ago when she told me. I’m not an idiot and I realize her boyfriend practically lives with her at her sorority house. I just don’t think she gets that being an adult means paying all of your own bills. We will pay for her last year of college, as long as she does not continue to be completely disrespectful to us and show us such contempt. She just doesn’t understand that a real adult would not be asking her mother to subsidize living with her boyfriend. She says we are trying to control her and get back at her for what she did over Christmas. I’m just saying if she doesn’t want to live under our roof and our rules then I wish her well, but I’m not going to pay for it. Am I wrong?