Ok, well I'm a teen and a little confused in my sexual orientation. I'm just going to give little sentences/statements on what I'm attracted to and other stuff:
-I have WAY more of an attraction to girls
-I don't like masculine features (muscles, deep voice.. ) and I'm completely unattracted to it. I like feminine things.
-guys are like the exact opposite of women. That's why some women like men. But that's the exact reason I don't have any attraction to men.
-the only pleasure I think I would get from a guy is during sex. (but I don't want to have sex)
-I'm not generally attracted to guys but sometimes when I talk to them and get to know a guy and they are nice and funny, I get this feeling where I think I actually may like them a little. I also get weird feelings if I'm with a cute girl. But the 2 feelings are wayyy different. The one I feel with a girl is much stronger. So I think I just like the guy as a friend
-those 'feelings' I was talking about that I get when I'm with a guy last for like 2 days though
-I feel very attracted to one of my friends (she's a girl) and I get so excited and I smile when she texts me or even looks at me
-I could see a handsome guy and think "oh he's kinda cute" but feel no attraction to him. And if I put him next to a good looking girl, I would immediately have all my attention on the girl

Soo what do u think? I get mixed feelings with guys. I think I sometimes actually DO like them, but a part of me doesn't actually want to like a guy. What's your opinion? Thanks !

How old are you? I think your age could play a role in this. I do think its perfectly fine to have crushes on your girlfriends even in adulthood. I ask your age because I wonder if your still to young to know what does attract you to a guy. What attracts me the most to guys isn't at all what I married. I love dark thick hair and the darkest eyes. I married blonde, bald and blue eyes. Go figure. When your more comfortable in your own body I think that is when you will know your sexual orientation. I feel from reading your post that you're a little young and not sure how to feel just yet. If you have pretty girlfriends its OK to have those crush feelings. I am 38 and I think one of my married friends is a total bomb. I love being around her. She is amazingly beautiful. Doesn't mean I am lesbian or bi.

I think that you are just getting to the point of identifying where these feelings of attraction to others really means to you. Takes time, as intense new feelings are very confusing sometimes.

But the good news is you are questioning them, and not getting carried away by them before you know what's going on. That's a great sign, and you will understand yourself better as you get use to dealing with them more. Patience. More will be revealed to you.

Being a teen, you will be attracted to persons of your gender and that does not make you bi or lesbian, just human. Now, your sexual orientation can be determined by this stage in your life so you should be careful not to act on any feelings until you are sure what your feeling. You can talk to a counselor at your school, a pastor at your church or even a medical doctor, get info on these kinds of things, once you understand and accept that this is normal thinking, or behavior,u will be better able to deal with it. Now you say that you are attracted to girls, are you attracted to yourself? Do u think your pretty, cute, sexy? If you were a guy, would you date u? Maybe your not attracted to the girl but attracted to the idea of being attractive like the girl, understand? U prob need to think on that. Also,liking feminine things doesn't make you a lesbian, it makes you a girly girl... at your stage in life, prob your not horny like other girls and just always thing about a man or his male companion but you think about girly things, pretty things and that's normal, not lesbian.You say that you don't want to have sex and that if you did, you think you would get pleasure from it... that's not lesbian!! Lesbians don't get much of a kick from having sex with men, as a matter of fact, that's the reason why most lesbians turned a lesbian in the first place-they don't think a man can pleasure them enough. I understand that being a teen, you have a lot of things on your mind, to encounter and it can be overwhelming but have to find a way to fight it, get away from the feelings by doing something else. You prob need to talk to your friend and let her know how you feel, get it off your chest and pray about it, I know everything is going to be all right and your not bi or lesbian, your normal! Good luck!! PERSONAL INFO REMOVED

Why do you feel like you need a label? You seem to be at an age where people are exploring their attractions. Why do you need to call it anything. Go where your feelings take you, and make sure you do it responsibly, no matter the gender of the person involved. I would also ask that you discuss these feelings with a trusted adult if you think that your family will have a negative reaction. They can offer you guidance if you should later need to have a discussion with them about your feelings.

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Originally Posted by ;

lesbians dont get much of a kick from having sex with men, as a matter of fact, that's the reason why most lesbians turned a lesbian in the first place-they dont think a man can pleasure them enough.

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I'm sorry, but the above statement is either untrue, or very badly worded. It is not "fact" as is stated by the poster.

People do not "turn" gay. They are born this way.

And lesbians do not get ANY "kick" out of having sex with men, just as you wouldn't get any kick out of have sex with whichever gender that you weren't naturally attracted to.

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Originally Posted by ;

pray about it, i know everything is gonna be alright and ur not bi or lesbian, ur normal!! good luck!!!

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Why pray about it? Is it such a bad thing to you for someone to be gay? If annabear was lesbian, would everything not be "alright" in this case? And how can you say that she is not bi or lesbian? Only she knows this/will know this in time to come.

Also, I find that your implication that normality is counted as being "not bi or lesbian," very offensive.

Annabear- the thoughts and feelings that you are explaining are normal feelings for a teenager to have. Do not be scared by them, just be yourself and follow your heart. :)

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Originally Posted by clafairey

Also, I find that your implication that normality is counted as being "not bi or lesbian," very offensive.

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Sorry but many people find it offensive to feel we should have to accept gay or lesbian life style as acceptable, it is perhaps legal in many places, but it is still very immoral and taught as such to a very large group of the population. Sadly too many are being scared into not stating their religious or moral beleifs because of name calling that soon starts.

But it is not accepted in society fully, ( and in my hopes never fully) I am not sorry for my beliefs and don't care if people find them offensive.

OK first, I was not saying that being lesbian is abnormal and don't think for a brief moment that I am degrading the lifestyle, because I am not. The heading says and I quote, as a matter of fact, it asked "Am I lesbian? Bisexual? What do you think? I was simply saying what I thought-that her actions and thoughts are pretty normal. People have lesbian thoughts actions and feelings and that does not make them lesbian, bi-sexual or gay. It is simply acting upon those feelings that determine one's sexual orientation and obviously Anna is at a stage in her life where she is indecisive. And contrary to what you think or say, people are not born lesbians, it's a way of life that is determined by our thoughts, actions, feelings and sometimes socialization. Also, I DID say that LESBIANS DO NOT get a kick out of having sex with men. And I said she should pray about what to do and pray that she makes the right decision not that she is not gay. I think you prob may want to read what I said again

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Originally Posted by annabear

Am I lesbian? Bisexual? What do you think??

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Hello anna:

I think you're MUCH too young to put yourself in a box like that... Why don't you just call yourself a sexual being, and let things happen how they're GOING to happen.

excon

Just a reminder that annabear is 14.

Anna, if you are still reading this thread, you don't have to label yourself. You are just now learning what you like and dislike and those will change as you mature and get more experience.

At this age, think more about building friendships than worrying about sexuality. Work on communication skills and how to interact with others. No need to rush into anything. Being single is much better than hopping from one relationship to another trying to figure out what is missing.

If you keep an open mind and don't put yourself in a box with a big label on it, you might surprise yourself with who you want to be in a relationship with. Could be your friend. Could be a boy you haven't met yet. Might be a girl who isn't stereotypically female or a boy who isn't stereotypically male.

However, there is one main relationship to work on. The one with yourself. Learn to be comfortable with yourself no matter who or what comes and goes in your life and you will be okay.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Cat1864 again.

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QUOTE by Cat,
However, there is one main relationship to work on. The one with yourself. Learn to be comfortable with yourself no matter who or what comes and goes in your life and you will be okay.

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Opinions are just that, what matters is what you do about yourself.

Posts merged


Is it considered bisexual if you like girls sexually and emotionally but you don't care where you get your sexual pleasure from? Like if your not attracted to guys at all, sex with them would still be pleasurable but it would also be if it was with a girl. Thanks people

No... that's just being "not picky".

Bisexuality means that you are EQUALLY attracted to men or women, to the point of enjoying more than just a brief sexual encounter with them.

If you're not attracted to guys at all, then you are either a male heterosexual or a female homosexual---and just not being picky about your sexual gratification.

Refer to the answers you received previously for the same question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...nk-586277.html

Don't repost the same thing over and over.

Doesn't matter if you are confused by your own sexuality, but in general terms seeking pleasure through sex with just anyone is not wise, nor healthy. Experimenting can be confusing at 14, and kind of slutty to be honest, and that has its own consequences later.

It doesn't matter if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, or none of the above. What matters is how you carry yourself as you grow, and learn about yourself a bit more. Let me ask you if you have an older adult, maybe mom, a school counselor, or a trusted teacher who can guide you to answers to your MANY questions about sex, and how it applies to you.

Experimenting with others can lead you down the wrong path of behavior, if you don't fully understand what you are doing. Learning the right way though will keep you from being used for sex, and thrown away when something else comes along.

There is a lot more to sex than just pleasure, or fun, so be honest, how far has your experimenting on your own taken you? Yes I have read your other posts, and already its plain you are having difficulty adjusting to the new changes you are going through. There is no shame in not knowing how to define yourself yet. But there is a danger just because of lack of knowledge.