Hi I have been married for four years this August. We have a 4 month old baby boy together that we love very much. When I was pregnant 7 months pregnant my husband stated seeing this women and they hung out and met up at places together and made out in public. Well they end up having sex one night and never had sex again just talked. He was still talking to her after I had our son and telling her he missed her. Well I found the text massages that they were writing one another and that's how I found he was cheating. I asked him about it and he admitted to everything and stop talking to her. We are still together and working threw it but I am having a really hard time getting past it and getting to a better place in our marriage. I knnow it happen a long time ago but I just found out so its still fresh to me. I just want to get to a better place and be able to trust him again and stop thinking he's talking to girls. Please help.

Unless I misread your post, it started in the past six to eight months and continued until at least four months ago. To me that is not a 'long time ago'. You have barely had time to comprehend what happened and to begin the recovery process.

Why do you feel like you should be further along in your recovery than you are? Is there pressure from anyone other than yourself to let it go and move on?

Regaining trust in someone takes time. It is not something you can force yourself to do. You can do things to help yourself be open to trusting him again.

Don't dwell on the details of what occurred between them. Don't ask for the details. Those are the type of questions that only lead to more questions and end up feeding the anger and frustration.

Don't hold on to the anger and hurt. The feelings are going to be there for a long time, but find a constructive way to release them. Hobbies such as gardening and woodworking can do wonders to relieve stress. So can bread baking. Writing can be another way to express emotions without causing more stress between you and your husband.

Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of checking his phone or questioning his every move. It won't make you feel any better. Instead, do something else when the urge occurs.

Trust yourself. You stayed with him for a reason. Hopefully, it wasn't just because of your child. Has he ever given you any other reasons to doubt him?

Remember why you married him and why you chose to give him another chance. Hold on the positive thoughts and moments. Let them be your focus, but don't ignore any major warning signs.

Keep the lines of communication open. Take time to remember that you are a couple and need time together rebuild the relationship by talking, relaxing and having fun.

Good luck.