I've been dating this guy for over a year and at the beginning I caught him texting his ex from 5years ago, he was drunk at the time. I told him I didn't like it so he stopped. But then a few months later I caught him texting her again,once again while he was drunk, he blew it off as not being a big deal and saying its not like I have feelings for her. He eventually agreed to not text her anymore. Well last week, drunk again, I caught him trying to hide the fact that he was texting her again. I had a hard time trusting him before but now its impossible for me to trust anything he says. We are pretty serious and live together, recently we've been talking about marriage but I don't want to marry him if I can't trust him. He only textes her when he's drunk and they were together so long ago so I don't know what this means, maybe they are just friends like he says. This last time I ended up breaking up with him but got back together when he sent flowers & heart felt love letter. Now that we are together I'm constantly wondering if anything he says to me is true or not. What should I do? Why does he keep texting his ex & how do I make him stop? Also how do I begin to trust him again?

It sounds like drunk = text the ex. Once you're married, he will no longer get drunk?

You can't make him stop getting drunk and/or texting his ex.

If I were you, I'd listen to my gut. He hasn't shown he's trustworthy. He knows he can break his promise to you but keep you around with a simple bouquet and love letter. How many times will that work for you?

Ok I get what your saying but I still don't understand why he continues to text her I'm seriously he dated this girl in high school & he's now 25... Why can't he move on? He's never lied to me about anything else & I really want to make it work. But I'm wondering if your right & it's a lost cause. :(

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Originally Posted by snowywhite

Ok I get what your saying but I still don't understand why he continues to text her I'm seriously he dated this girl in high school & he's now 25..... Why can't he move on? He's never lied to me about anything else & I really want to make it work. But I'm wondering if your right & its a lost cause. :(

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1) She's a sure thing because she will always chat with him.
2) She's a known quantity.
3) He has too many good memories.
4) He can't move forward; he's stuck in the past.
5) She's at least as important as you are and maybe/probably/obviously more important.
6) He isn't invested in you and making it work with you.

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