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-   -   Maintaince? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=584321)

  • Jun 27, 2011, 07:07 AM
    Tumi1
    Maintaince?
    Mother instisted on keeping baby even after I said she must get an abortion. Now after 4 years she comes to claim for maintaince and wants me to leave my wife. What rights do I have for I want nothing to do with her or that baby, since I don't even know if that baby is mine. Besides even so I want nothing to do with the baby, financially nor physically?
  • Jun 27, 2011, 07:25 AM
    ebaines

    If you are indeed the father then you have some responsibility for child support. You can not abdicate your responsibilities simply because you didn't want the mother to carry your child to term.

    As for her wanting you to leave your wife - of course she has no recourse there.
  • Jun 27, 2011, 09:44 AM
    Cat1864

    Do what you should have done four years ago and take care of your business.

    1. Get a paternity test and determine if you are the child's father.

    2. If you aren't, then politely ask her to leave you alone.

    3. If you are the father, go through the courts if necessary to establish support for your child. Since you want nothing to do with child then visitation is probably not going to be a problem because she can't force you to see him/her. Also, provide the mother with a detailed family health history covering disorders that have a tie to genetics such as birth defects, bi-polar disorder, cancer, diabetes, etc. It is up to you whether you inform your family there is another member.

    Be honest with your wife about what is going on and the changes that will be happening. Your ex can't make you leave your wife, but if the two of you are not working together to keep your union strong through all of this, the situation if nothing else can cause major problems.
  • Jun 27, 2011, 09:54 AM
    redhed35

    < moved to family law>
  • Jun 27, 2011, 10:00 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tumi1 View Post
    Mother instisted on keeping baby even after i said she must get an abortion. Now after 4 years she comes to claim for maintaince and wants me to leave my wife. What rights do I have for I want nothing to do with her or that baby, since I don't even know if that baby is mine. Besides even so I want nothing to do with the baby, financially nor physically?

    I for one am repulsed and disgusted by the suggestion that this woman should be penalized by refusing to get an abortion.

    You, sir, are a cad.
  • Jun 27, 2011, 11:48 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tumi1 View Post
    Mother instisted on keeping baby even after i said she must get an abortion. Now after 4 years she comes to claim for maintaince and wants me to leave my wife. What rights do I have for I want nothing to do with her or that baby, since I don't even know if that baby is mine. Besides even so I want nothing to do with the baby, financially nor physically?

    If you wanted nothing to do with this woman, you should have thought about that before having an affair behind your wife's back. If you didn't want a child with her, you should have been more careful regarding birth control. As a woman, I cannot fathom why anyone in their right mind would want anything to do with you. But that's not the question here.

    If she desires, she can file for child support against you. The court will order a DNA test. If you're the father, you'll be required to pay support whether you "want" to or not. If you're not the father, then you're off the hook.

    And might I add that I hope the latter is true for that child's sake.
  • Jun 27, 2011, 04:17 PM
    ma0641
    Comment on AK lawyer's post
    AMEN!
  • Jun 27, 2011, 07:53 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You have the right to challenge paternity when she files for child support, money for health care, money for day care and other child support she is entitled to.

    You will provide the courts statements of earnings, in the US copies of tax returns perhaps, and what you pay will be based on income, for one child normally about 20 percent of your total income.
  • Jun 28, 2011, 07:18 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tumi1 View Post
    Mother instisted on keeping baby even after i said she must get an abortion. Now after 4 years she comes to claim for maintaince and wants me to leave my wife. What rights do I have for I want nothing to do with her or that baby, since I don't even know if that baby is mine. Besides even so I want nothing to do with the baby, financially nor physically?

    You, my kind sir, make me sick to my stomach! You stuck your penis into her vagina, so you are responsible for the consequences to your actions. While she has no right to require that you leave your wife, she does have a right to request that you support the child you helped to make.

    People like you are a waste of the oxygen I breathe!
  • Jun 28, 2011, 07:50 AM
    Synnen

    YOU said she must get an abortion?

    What century do YOU live in, sir? In THIS century, by LAW it is HER choice whether to get an abortion.

    If you don't want a child with someone, don't have sex with them.

    I hope she takes you to court for child support and gets a good portion of your paycheck. In addition, if you haven't told your wife about this, you're GOING to have marital problems. Maybe THAT will end up in ANOTHER maintenance check---one for alimony--when your wife leaves you because you're a jerk that doesn't take care of his responsibilities.

    You have NO legal way of getting out of child support. I can't believe you even asked.

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