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-   -   My ex is marrying his rebound, what can I do to get him back? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=584065)

  • Jun 25, 2011, 06:01 PM
    nina77
    My ex is marrying his rebound, what can I do to get him back?
    We dated for two months and, he said he didn't want to be with me because of my mother getting in our business, that I was already planning our wedding when actually it was him bringing up moving in together and, plans for the future.

    He said that he was only making conversation.. what!! Well after only 2weeks he has another woman and, her five kids living with him and, claims he is gettng married. What can I do? I love him. What went wrong?
  • Jun 25, 2011, 06:59 PM
    CarrotTalker

    Only for two months? Hardly time to get to know someone and develop a healthy relationship to get married.

    Why do you care what he is doing with this other woman? If he is with her after only 2 weeks, sounds like the "love" wasn't very reciprocated.
  • Jun 25, 2011, 07:04 PM
    fallintoautumn
    I hate to be harsh with you, but it sounds like you were coming on too strong, too fast. Two months is a relatively short time for all of this to have happened in.

    It's one thing to talk about a future together but, unless you've both seriously decided to get married, there's no reason to start planning the wedding.

    However, what your ex is doing sounds really off-the-wall. Unless he was already having a relationship with this woman, I don't understand why he would move her and her children into his house after only two weeks of dating (and I doubt it was that long).

    Maybe he is telling you he's marrying this woman to hurt you?

    I'm not 100% sure but, for now, I really think you should distance yourself from this situation.
  • Jun 25, 2011, 07:07 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    What can I do?
    Celebrate, because he was only giving lip service and probably cheating on you.

    Quote:

    I love him. What went wrong?
    Nothing went wrong. You just got lucky because he was obviously lying to you trying to get a live in female to service his needs and any one would do.

    Pray for this girl who believes his lies. She will suffer, you will not.
  • Jun 25, 2011, 07:38 PM
    Cat1864

    I have a bit of a different take on it.

    Are you sure he was single and available when you met and started dating him? Could you be the other woman and there is a lot more to their relationship than he has admitted such as whose children they are?

    What do you really know about him and his life?

    Two months is not long enough to know whether it is love or 'lust'. If you truly feel it was love, then I think you got played. I don't think it ever was love for him. It sounds more like someone trying to get what they want through emotional manipulation. In other words, he built up a fantasy to get his way and then moved on or (almost) got caught.

    Even though I think he wasn't upfront with you, did your mother try to interfere with the relationship? IF so, in what ways? Are you a legal adult where you live and not subject to your mother's rules? If you are and she did interfere, then you need to discuss personal boundaries.

    Don't let this keep you from meeting new people and enjoying new relationships. This one turned out to be a frog, but the next one might turn out to be a prince. However, you won't know if you don't allow yourself to heal and move forward instead of chasing after the frog.

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