Hi.I am 35 years old guy.I was fallen in love with a married girl aged 32 years.we had nice relation more than 2 years.but suddenely she realised that she has husband and a kid.so she told me we will stop our relation hereafter.we used to do sex allot like twice a week.she used to meet in after office.now since last six months we did not have sex as she refuse to meet me in privacy.but she is having sex with her husband now and she is openly telling me that.now my situation is I cannot able to do sex with any other girl evenif I gets chance.everytime she comes in front of my eyes and I feel ashamed.I even did not masturbate on my own.I don't want to do it without her touch.I am totally frustrated not only on sex but in my life without her.please help me what to do?thanks...

She shouldn't meet you in privacy or in any other way. You shouldn't have any contact with her that isn't absolutely necessary such as work related.

Remember that no matter what your relationship was with her, she was never yours. She has always belonged to her husband and children.

Leave her alone to live her life and get involved in your own life. Do things that keep you too busy to think about her. Meet new people. Catch up with old friends.

Don't dwell on her and the past. If you are still having problems, you might look into counseling.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

The harsh truth is that this is what can happen when you have sex with a person who is married. You were both sneaking around behind her husband's back and now you are paying the price.

I think you need to speak to a professional to work through the pain you are obviously experiencing, someone who can help you get over your "shame" and help you go on with your life.

Again - this is the price you pay when you get involved with someone who is married and "belongs" to another person.

Did you think she WASN'T having sex with her husband when she was having a sexual relationship with you?

But what about immotional relation we have?still she loves me but just because of society she is refusing me now.she wants to be loyal with her husband.what about me?I did not have just sex with her but I gave her too much love and care.how can she leave me alone suddenly? I am ready not to have sex with her but I want her in my life.I cannot stay without her now

You cannot make anyone love you or stay with you or leave her husband.

What about him?

You need professional counseling.

I am not telling or forcing her to love me.she really loves me but she loves her husband too.and now she don't want to cheat him more.is it right justice with me?I have no feelings?I am not humanbeing?

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Originally Posted by rabitm35

i am not telling or forcing her to love me.she really loves me but she loves her husband too.and now she dont want to cheat him more.is it right justice with me?i have no feelings?i am not humanbeing??

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If she really loved you, she would be with you. She has chosen her husband. Get busy with life and work and school and activities. Forget her. (Yes, you can forget her if you make up your mind to do so and not be weak.)

Do you think it's a game?just to forget after losing

The problem began when you and a married woman connected emotionally. You didn't tell us the history of how this happened, how you met, how you got to know each other, but please, if there ever is a next time, walk away and do not look back before there is any connection made!

And for starters, stop arguing with the very people who are trying to help you.

Do we think you're a "human being"? What exactly does that mean?

Get involved with someone who is married and you pay a price. You're paying it now. Nobody says what you are going through now is a game. What you and the married woman WERE going through was a game to you - not so much to her husband.

You were involved in adultery and now you want sympathy because you got hurt. Too bad you didn't think about that, her husband and/or her kids a lot earlier in this "game."

What have you done for her for over two years besides play at being a couple? She wasn't yours to begin with and she definitely isn't yours now.

You need to get counseling and leave her alone.

You do not contact her for any reason. You should have no valid reasons for trying to talk to her now unless you work together. If you do work together, ONLY discuss work.

If she tries to contact you, block it, ignore it, do what ever you have to NOT to communicate with her.

Quite frankly, stop trying to have sex with other women. Trying to use someone else to forget her is not fair to the other woman. Instead, talk to a professional counselor about your inability to begin moving on.

Work on healing and letting go before you attempt to date or have sex with someone new. That doesn't mean you shouldn't meet new people. However, work on getting to know them as individuals instead of replacements.

I am not saying it is easy to move forward or that it doesn't hurt. I don't think you will forget the feelings you have for her for a long time if ever. What I am saying is that the feelings will ease and fade IF you allow them to. YOU are the only person who can make the changes in your life necessary to move forward.

If you aren't ready to let go, then no one else can do it for you.

OK.I will tell you the full story nw.say two years before her husband lost his job and went back to his home country.we are staying abroad.she was here with me.I am her immidiate boss.she was very alone and some guys try to flurt around her.so she told me that.then I started dropping her at home.we did not come to know when our friendship turned into love.we started staying as husband and wife.I gave her complete support,love and too much care.I used to care her small things also.she also loving me and caring me allot.without each other we never used to stay.but one day she went to church and heard preeching on adultery and her mind little bit changed.but still she continued relation with me like earlier.but one day her husband came back and since that day she changed drastically.she started avoiding me,started keeping me away.her soft words suddenly changed into rude and very harsh words.what is this?what about my feelings?is it right justice she done with me?now you tell me?

Rabitm, I am going to be completely honest with you. I think we heard your story in April from your friend. Is this your friend trying to help you: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...nd-570595.html ?

The advice no matter who is telling the story or what details are cleared up remains the same. You have to accept the relationship is over and move forward with your life.

She has a husband and children. They have always been there whether the two of you remembered the facts or not.

'Justice' is not yours. You have not been wronged. You are not the innocent party in this. You went into the relationship fully knowing she was married. It does not sound like she made any attempts to end her marriage. However, after the adultery sermon, I am wondering if she attempted to end things with you. Perhaps even before then if you look at the relationship as an observer.

Are you still her boss? Is there any way for either of you to transfer to another position to remove some of the temptation.

Allow yourself to let go. Stop trying to hold on to something that wasn't yours. Go back to the beginning and see where you messed up. You became personally involved with a subordinate who relied on you for help with a work place problem. You should have dealt with only that problem especially since you knew she was in a vulnerable state of mind because her husband left. You as her boss should have recognized the need to stay professional and not cross boundaries. You didn't and now you have to deal with the repercussions of your decisions.

You are not a child who had a toy taken away. You are a man who can use his maturity and experience to understand that life isn't always going to go the way he wants. You have control over your own thoughts and actions. You can use that control to adapt, heal, and move forward. If you are still experiencing problems with taking the first steps toward a healthier mind-set, see a counselor who can help you find the correct path.

Yes.you are right.my friend posted my story on the thread.compared to earlier I am OK right now.I posted myself in different place away from her.but still she needs me and always she calls me.she has same love for me but she don't want problem more in her life so she is keeping me away physically.she is telling she is fadeup and not interested in doing sex with anybody.she is just doing twice in a month for her husban's happiness and she also gets pleasure from that but that is not atall her need now.she loves her husband too but she told me she never can forget me.my place in her heart will always be like earlier.only to save her marriage and kid's future she has to keep me away.thats why she has made herself strong.and my mind also has accepted this but my heart is not ready to accept.thats fine.I wll keep all your's advices in my mind.I have decided to move in some other country

Rabit, I am glad to know that you do seem to be doing better than when your friend posted. I do think that you would be doing better if you put a stop to the confusion she is keeping going.

Your heart will learn to let go, but it does take time. It also takes you giving it the support it needs. Breaking off all contact with her will do a lot to help.

If you do try a different country, be open to meeting new people and having new experiences. Making new memories will help soften impact of the old ones.

Good luck.

Thanks everybody for your advices and support.especially CAT