But I know that the truth is that I have not done any such stuff, please let me know how to convince her...

She loves me very much, but she is too religious to believe it...

It all may have happened because of her mom I feel, because she did not want our relationship to go further..

I'm very sure she is not done it because she just wants to move on... she is also going through the same kind of pain...

I am not certain there is a way to convince her of anything. This is one of those subjects that she will need to think through and find the truth on her own. If her mother was behind her decision, perhaps she will come to see her mother's manipulation for what it is.

If you try to point out what you see as the facts, it will probably backfire on you. She would probably think you were trying to turn her against her mother. It would only add to her current distrust.

I know it isn't easy to be accused of something you didn't do and to lose someone because of it. However, you have tried to give her your side and she isn't ready. Give her time and yourself a chance to re-group. Live your life as though the relationship will not be revived.

Do what you need to to heal and move forward. Do not wait for her to come around to 'your' side. It will leave you even more upset and frustrated. Do not try to contact her.

Do let her come to you when she starts questioning her decision and is ready to discuss what happened. Do work through the issues that caused the break-up before you try to rebuild the relationship IF that option presents itself.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

Thanks Cat1864,

Its been like 4 months I have been trying to convince her and, also told her that its her mother who is doing that, same thing happened as you told.. its really very tough to live without her... I know it will go as the time passes... But the fact is that I don want that to happen as I wanted only her in my life..

My feeling is that we both were so good with each other for four years and just a simple reason like this is made us apart. Major thing in this is that her mother has made her feel that I have done it.

However many mistakes, I have tried to do or I tried to get in touch with our common friend and her friends. No one helped or responded. She also scolded one of our good friend, (friend is also hurt because she texts her "who are you to be in between us" and has not responded to her from a month)

I also got to know that her mother fell, and survived with grace of god (she feels that I did that too). This hurt me a lot... as I'm a broad minded person who does not even believe in future to do stuffs like that.

She now tell all friends that she broke up because I was forcing her to convert to my religion (with black magic)

Yes, I had told her about converting, thinking of future. How do I go about it, if I don't want to lose her?

I went to her place to speak to her mom but, her mother just banged the door on me as soon as she saw me.



Edited/merged-T

Sadique, a helpful tip on replying: You can scroll down to the bottom of the posts and there is a text box for responding to the thread. It doesn't have the same limitations on room that the comment feature has so you don't have to keep adding comments to fully express your thoughts.

Unfortunately, for this point in time, you have lost her. It is going to be up to her if she ever comes back.

You can show her that you aren't the type of person she (or probably her mother) thinks you are by living your own life. By not contacting her or putting friends in the middle, you are showing her that you respect her and her wishes. It is the opposite of what she currently believes happened and will speak louder to her than anything else you can do.

Do you have interests or hobbies you can get involved in to keep yourself busy?

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Cat1864 again.

I think you have to many things going against you, and it seems that her mother is not willing to give her daughter to someone of another religion. I suspect this has always been the case, but as things have become serious, the reality is what it is. The mom is dead set against you, more religion, or caste, and tradition, and prejudice than black magic. Its just against her principles.

Unless she is the one to change her mind and make a different decision, against her mother, I see no way you get her, and quite frankly despite all the emotions, she is already gone.

I think you back all the way away from this, and let her make her own decisions without your influence, and let you both have time to think about what's best. A long cooling off period.

Not easy, but she is already blaming things on you, so leave her alone and if she misses you enough, she will let you know.

What are your religions that seem to be the problem between you and is it possible for YOU to convert? What does your family say about her, and her family??

Its obvious that dating and friendship was okay, but marriage is out!! Sorry.

Thanks Talinaman,

I'm a muslim, but she is a hindu (her mom is hindu and her dad was christan).

Even her mom and dad were in love and got married, her dad is no more.. she stays with her mom.. I thought of speaking to her mom thinking that she has gone through same situation and will understand..

That explains a lot as mom doesn't want her daughter converting, and that may be at the heart of the issue. Just curious as to did her mom convert, or which religion was your girlfriend raised?

This may go beyond religion and into a mother not wanting to lose her daughter or what she may see as a living piece of a husband she loved.

How much did her mother give up to marry the man she loved? She may not want that life for her child. She may see it as protecting her child from what could be very difficult consequences to live with.

It still doesn't change the need to back off and give her time to think for herself without pressure from you and hopefully with less pressure from her mother. She will need to be the one to talk to her mother because her mother needs to know that her daughter is strong enough to stand on her own. They have to deal with their relationship before she can give her attention to a romantic one or her mother will keep causing problems. However, first she has to figure it out for herself as you have already learned.

I agree that backing off for now is the thing to do.

I understand this but I'm afraid that if I do so she may feel that I'm ignoring her and the distance may incerase.

I know that her anger towards me is increasing for the stuffs I did, but I'm totally confused what to do or what not to do, however I'm not in touch with her from more the 20 day, I hve not even tested her or tried to call her...

Just hoping that she will understand me, I know thet the time ill take away all the memories and the pain... I don't want this to happen as we were so close to each othe and I don't want any one else in my life..

she was raised as hindu and her mom did not get converted, this is why there were issues with her fathers side family I believe and may be she was not treated well... I did not want that samething to happen with her as I'm from very orthodox family. She did not understand me even after explainging her clearly why I was asking her and what may happen if not, she now just thinks that I was making her to conver only for sake of religion...

In my religion it's a very big sin for blackmagic which does not hve forgiveness and mainly I don't hve trust in it to do something like that.. she is just made our life miserable...

That's true, I don't want to loose her so I'm afraid to be far from her.. she may think that I hve moved on...

I came across this book "magic of making up", does this help... any one have an idea about this..

I doubt they can tell you anything that you haven't heard here, but there may be some details we miss sometimes, but for the price of the book you can ask questions and get answers for your confusion.Most people who come here are so emotionally shocked by the break up, it takes a lot of time for them to calm down enough to listen or question why you have been given the advice you get.

Some don't even answer questions that we put to them. Some like yourself close there minds when told to let the dust settle and get your own head together before you do anything, but they cannot. Doesn't matter what book you read if you have not taken the time to get yourself, and your emotions under control, and I can bet until you do, all you do is screw things up even worse with impulsive, out of control behavior. Then you wonder why things don't work for you.