OK so the story with me and my ex girl friend is very long, ill try to keep it short.

Me and this girl dated for 3 years. We met when we were both very young(also virgins). I helped her through a lot of problems in her life. We helped each other grow.
We broke up a little over a year ago. Thus ending a seeming very long journey with her.
In that last year I spent the first 5 or so months obsessing... like to the point of checking her fb. I was heartbroken and I assume she was too.. just taking it a lot better cause she did the breaking up. Every time I found out she hooked up with someone I would go into a long depression. I started doing lots of drugs and drinking. After around 5 months I found out she was dating my best friend. So I told them both some pretty horrible things then split. And didn't talk to them for a long time. I still haven't talked to him, but me and her met up for coffee and started to hang again. Ever sense I've noticed her holding back. She is single now. But she was still holding back. She clearly has an attraction for me, weather it be physical or emotional or both I don't know. She has a minor past of leading me on and the sabotaging our new found happiness. (probably because she was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder) but tonight we actually kissed again after a year or so of being apart. She seemed into it based on her reaction during the kissing. I don't know what to expect. She wants to keep it between us and she doesn't want to "lead me on" I kind of wish I knew what to do, or at least what she wanted from all this. Any takers on this? Thanks

After reading this post, a big part of me is wondering what caused the break-up. It might provide more insight into the situation.

We hardly remember to be honest. All I remember is we barely saw each other and the love got stale. I blame it on how busy I was with work/school etc.

Sorry guy, but I think you have been drawn back into a deep hole, and she isn't as stuck on you, as you obviously are on her.

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ever sense Ive noticed her holding back. she is single now. but she was still holding back. She clearly has an attraction for me, weather it be physical or emotional or both I don't know. She has a minor past of leading me on and the sabotaging our new found happiness. (probably because she was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder)

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This is a contradiction, and her holding back is for a good reason, because she ain't in it to win it like you are, and she isn't leading you on, its you going full steam ahead, because you THINK she is back in your life to stay. Hugs, kisses, coffee, and even sex is not a relationship, just a past time until something better comes along, is why she is holding back.

Sorry guy, but my experience tells me that you are carried away by your own feelings, ignoring all the warning signs, and have high hopes that are not realistic, and FALSE. You didn't not heal at all from your past break up with her, and as a consequence, you jumped right back into the fire way to soon, and still not protecting yourself very well at all. That usually leads to more hurt, and misery, worse than before.

This don't look good, at all.

Thanks, I needed to hear that. I won't say this ends here and now cause it cant. This is a process that I will aim to start and complete now. Its time to move on.. for real. Much appreciated