I am in a relationship with a man and I can't stay away from him. He seems to be everything that I want and need. Here's the problem, you know how usually the man cheats on the woman, well it was me this time but, alcohol was involved. No that really isn't an excuse.

The person I had the affair with I no longer speak to or see. I didn't remember the entire session that went on between me and this person, I do remember trying to get him just after we started. I felt Horrible, I am in a great relationship with someone and then this happens.

I told him about it and he completely broke down. Ive Never cheated! I know how it feels, I couldn't believe myself that I did that but, I was honest about it, I didn't hide it, now he says he can't trust me. He doesn't want me alone in my own house, we can't stay apart. I want him to trust me. He says he trust me when I say I love him but, that's it.

How do I get him to trust me fully? How do I get him to see that I hurt just as bad as he does. Now he won't take me around any of his friends or family cause they all hate me now but, they don't even know me. I haven't had the chance to talk to them. There judging me for one thing. They only hear his side his pain. What about what I feel?

I want my life with this man. He is so good to me. As of right now we're sneaking around like a high school couple. No one knows were seeing each other Because he doesn't want anyone to know right now. I need some guidance, some advice, please help me.

Sorry Ashely, but it will take a long time to get back what you screwed up through your own bad behavior. No way can he get over it and open his heart to you until he can. At least he seems to be trying, but I understand how you feel as you are worried, and concerned about many things beside how he is reacting to you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ng-582970.html

You really need to give this time and hope you are not pregnant by the guy you cheated with, so you both can get beyond this bad episode. Its really up to him, and all you can do is make sure your words and actions match until he trust you again, and recovers from what you did to him.

He had no business telling everyone he knows what happened, but since he has, accept they will no longer be very friendly to you and staying away from them may work for you, may not, but leave them alone regardless until this mess is worked out.

Ok I appriciate the response that you have give me, first off I know I messed up, there is no need to push that in my face.. and NO it wouldn't be the other guy that I messed with because I pushed him off before he could finish. I kept telling him to get off but he wouldn't until I got a good grip on him and pushed him off.

And I am giving this time, I just wanted some advice on how to ease him a little... Ive been good.. and in regards to his friends and family that know and who are judging me, they never met me but I know this is a bad way to start a relationship..

And no disrespect to you hun but watch how you world things... it might offend someone... reguardless if they did wrong or not. I know your only here to help or give your advice... but.. dont shove it in there face that they did wrong here and there when they already know and feel bad.. but hey ill take what you said... and most of it I'm already doing.

Thank you for taking your time and writing.

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Originally Posted by Ashley20071

NO it wouldnt be the other guy that i messed with because i pushed him off before he could finish.

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That doesn't mean he couldn't be the father.

Yes it would, he was wearing a condom, I don't know how people on here got freakn expert level statues or some crap... just because I messed around with someone else doesn't mean oh he's the father.. get a grip. My BF is the only person who I go raw with. And if you caught what I said basically he was forcing himself on me and wouldn't get off... does that ring a freakn bell with anyone? Rape maybe? I'm only asking for advice NOT to open old wounds! Either give advice or leave it alone don't tag along on others answers.

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Originally Posted by Ashley20071

yes it would, he was wearing a condom

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There are members of this site who have gotten pregnant while the guy used a condom, others who used two forms of because, and a least one other while using THREE forms of because.

Does your boyfriend know you might be pregnant?

Ok and not everyone is the same, and if you must know this whole thing happaned back in Feb. NO possible way its his.. and why would you mix BC anyway, would they not cancel each other out? I could see if they were using one at a time, like, one form of BC then got pregnant. And then the same with the others... but look all I'm saying is ask question next time, Don't assume! Thanks for trying to help.

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Originally Posted by Ashley20071

why would you mix BC anyway...would they not cancel each other out?

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I hope you are making a joke. More than one form is another layer of protection. One form doesn't cancel out another form. Three forms are a much better protection than just one, but apparently even three together don't always protect from pregnancy.

Wow really... why would you put yourself through that 3 pills or 3 forms of because? Come on if you don't want to get pregnant don't have sex plain and simple. Every time you have sex no matter what your taking the risk of becoming pregnant. So either don't have sex or risk getting pregnant.. as for my post on being pregnant I was just wondering if it could be possible if I was is all, I've taken a test but it was too soon so I wait.. and why are my two post being crossed anyway? Two separate things I'm asking about. This is the end of this discussion. Thank you for your post.

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Originally Posted by Ashley20071

this is the end of this discussion.

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Once you've posted on an AMHD board, the questioner cannot dictate who can reply, what they can say, or when the question ends.

Yes, sex = pregnancy, even sometimes when using birth control.

No but I was saying I wish to no longer to discuss this with you, because you nit pick on what I am saying. Good bye

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Originally Posted by Ashley20071

i wish to no longer to discuss this with you

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This site doesn't work that way.

People cannot help assume since you didn't give enough facts, so we hunt for them since your post count was a part of your identity box. You wrote this as you cheated, not got raped so the facts are up to you. Sorry for your experience, but there is no quick fix for your situation. If we believe you told your boyfriend that you were raped, and not just drunken misjudgement, then I suspect his attitude, and what he told others would be much more sympathetic.

You told us you cheated, and probably told him the same thing, hence your situation with trust. Sorry, I have trouble believing you too, since we have conflicting stories from you. So I will grant your wish, and withdraw my advice, but leave questioning the wisdom of staying with a guy that doesn't believe your rape story. Rape is not cheating by any stretch of the imagination, drunk, or sober in my book.

It appears that you first no little about birth control and pregnancy, this is a concern since you are having sex with multiple partners.

Next you seem or appear very self centered, "how do I make him understand I am hurt as bad" sorry he is most likely hurt worst, at this point,


What do you do, show it in time, over the next month, then the next year if he allows it to go that far.