Ok I have been going out with this guy for about a year all together and I'm in school so it seems like forever! He loves me and I love him and I have absolutely no doubts about that! We are under 18 so when his family moves, he has to move as well. It's not just a couple towns over either! It's to another state! Thousands of miles away! Now I know what you guys out there will say! You will say that I am too young and I'll meet my Soul Mate later in life but for a few months we broke up and neither of us stopped loving the other! We didn't even go to the same school! I eventually got to be at his school but we weren't "together" then. I have no chance with him! He's leaving and there's nothing I can do about it. What I'm asking is should I hold on to him and make the most of what I can or should I just let him go now and be friends until he goes so it doesn't hurt as horribly later? I'm young and naïve and I need advice!!

I was 18 and in "love" once myself. I was as sure as anyone could be that it was the real thing.

It wasn't. I think it takes at least 20 years of life to even begin to understand the complexities , interactions, and how much work it is to build and nurture an honest loving relationship.

I think 99% of the 17 , 18, 19 yr olds feel they have matured and understand much about life and love.

It is at the early twenties you start to see how little you actually do know.

Here is a way that may help you see this.

See how many couples you find that are over 24 and have been together since they were teens.

Statistics say you will find less than 25% even though the divorce rate among all age groups is 52%.
You cut your chances in half of making things work getting together at such a young age.


Another consideration is that with today's technology in communication , where you can call , text, voip, webcam, each other on a nearly constant basis , keeping in touch is not a problem and could help you stay friends and let your relationship develop at a slower and more sure pace.
If it is really love , it will last through times of separation, and doubt, and hardships unforeseen if you have based your relationship on communication, honesty, and trust. If they are there you can overcome anything.

The drawback , from your point of view, will be that it takes years to build this kind of trusting honest love . You have merely scratched the surface and need more time and experience before you make a lifelong commitment... or what should be .

Some things can only be learned and understood by experience .
Experience that requires more than 18 years to develop.

You are under 18 - ? That means you are between 1 and 17. How old are you?

There are many ways to stay in touch, most of which revolve around the Internet.

Was I the same person at 25 that I was at 18? No. Therefore, my 18-year old boyfriend was no longer my soulmate when I was 25.

The flip side is that my sister's boyfriend at 14 has been her husband for many years. I know she's in the minority.

The exclamation points in your post make me think you are quite young.

Sorry about the exclamation points I just think they are more interesting than the traditional period. I would not like to disclose my age on a website full of adults. You never know.

Heather, are you a couple right now? If so, have you talked to him to get his feelings on the subject?

It is good to know your own mind and feelings, but communication is very important in a relationship at any age.

Dumping him because he is moving and then wanting to remain friends may not fit into his plans and you might end up not having to worry about the 'friends' part. On the other hand, making a mutual decision might work out better.

My answer is different if you are 14 or if you are 16 or even 17.

At 16 or 17 I may say, there is free internet chatting, unlimited cell phones, pod casting, video messages on internet an more, so you can try a long distant relationship. For a year or two before you could be together.


If you are 15 and under it is too long, and a long distant will never work that long, at your age. So you hurt but you move on.

Trust me, you are anonymous. You posted this question but won't post your age?

My opinion would depend on your age - and you have chosen to post on an adult board so I am going to hope you are over 18.

The "love of my life" part makes you think you are under 18 - that, plus the exclamation points.

If his parents are moving and he MUST go with them, I'm saying high school (or younger). The option is to stay in touch and get parental permission to visit.