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-   -   My boyfriend doesn't want to sleep with me. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=582676)

  • Jun 18, 2011, 02:55 PM
    amy_m
    My boyfriend doesn't want to sleep with me.
    Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years now, we are totally in love
    With each other, I worship the ground he walks on. We are very much a couple and are always doing things together. We have the same intrests and want the same in life. We are very much soulmates, but the problem is he never wants to sleep with me. I have asked him if he still finds me attractive that I still do it for him and he always say yes. I get extremely upset to the point were we argue over it, but he doesn't want to know and brushes it of like it isn't a problem, he never wants to talk about it. I'm rejected so much and feel very hurt. He always tells me to try my hardest but it's a one way thing, and now I'm at breaking point because I feel like I have even totally lost the memory of the feeling, this has been going on sins about 2 and half years now. I need help and haven't got a clue which way to turn. Thank you for your answers.
  • Jun 19, 2011, 01:47 AM
    tickle

    Are you saying, amy, that your and your b/f have not slept together for 2 and a half years ?
  • Jun 19, 2011, 07:35 AM
    martinizing2

    Also do you really mean sleeping together or having sex?
    One can be as upsetting as the other.

    There seems to be a lot of this going around... or am I overstating?

    If he hasn't had a physical lately it would be a good idea to schedule one.
    That will eliminate many possible causes or find one maybe.

    Your communication with him needs to improve (I understand it takes both)
    If you can't talk about sex you shouldn't be having it.
    Understanding each others perspective can prevent many many problems .

    I would do all I could to get him to go to counselling. If you want to save this relationship this would be a major step forward .

    You need to make him understand that you cannot go on like this and it is going to take both of you working hard to straighten things out.
    The cold honest truth can shock some into awareness and I don't see many other options at this point.

    Communicate.
  • Jun 19, 2011, 09:04 AM
    Synnen

    How old are you both?
  • Jan 10, 2012, 04:25 PM
    sophianevae
    I honestly don't think counseling ia the answer. I guess, try everything. But if counseling is the only option I don't think he's attracted to you. How is a counselor going to make him all of the sudden become attracted to you again? I'm having the same problem but if counseling is the only option, I'm just going to have to give up. It should come naturally. God, what happened to women being the ones who didn't want to have sex enough? I'm so confused. But I can assure you, honey, its not you. I'm a very attractive, loving female and my boyfriend and I get along great. He just simply doesn't want to have sex. Ever. I feel your pain.

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