Ask Me Help Desk - How to love her more

How to love her more

I've been in a relationship for almost 4 years now, and its been a bumpy road.

The thing is now, I find myself on chatrooms just looking to talk to another girl just to "get" her.

I've done this not only online but in real life.

I've never actually kissed any of the girls or done anything else that would be considered cheating. But I lead these girls on, on purpose.

And then when I realize that its getting to the point that they want to really be with me, I break it off.

Some of these girls have been really good girls, really nice and classy, and I have broken their hearts :[

I'm not a player... I hate that type of thing, but sometimes I feel so bored of my relationship.

But I honestly love the girl I'm with, but I have a hard time showing it I guess.

I hope this doesn't make me seem like a creep or a scum bag... because I'm not.

I don't know what it is.. I would never cheat on my girlfriend..

She's gotten a little chubby and I've been getting her to loose weight.. and she has..

She does everything I ask from her.. she always does things to make me happy.. although sometimes it doesn't work.. and I realize it.

I just want to be the way I was with her when I first began to date her.

I was head over heels in love out of my mind. I did everything I could to be with this girl and now I have her.

I feel that if I were to break up with her and find another girl, it would be the same story after 4 years, you just find peoples flaws and its always there.

I'm trying though, so please anyone..

What can I do to look past the faults, and be a good boyfriend the way I used to be ?

First of all, stop being an @sshole to all these other girls. That is very wrong to do, and you ARE a scumbag, just denying it doesn't make it true. And if you are unhappy with someone, then let her go, if you love her... why make her be with someone who has lost interest in her and will probably never be "in love" with here again?

Good Luck,
Javi

Despite the excuses for your bad behavior you are a liar, and cheater for going behind her back and pursuing other females.

If you cannot put as much effort into the one you are with, as you do with others you pursue, then you should stop living the lie, and leave.

At least that would be honest, something you should try with your girl, tell her the truth, and let her decide the best way forward. And yes you are a bad person, for being dishonest, but YOU don't have to stay that way, you can change it by being honest.

I've told her about the 2 girls that I've met irl and that I've led on..

She was really mad but she forgave me

Since then I've just gone on stupid chats apps on andriod and done that...

I've never cheated though.

And I never would..

Thanks for the input fellas..

HARSHNESS WARNING

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

im not a player...i hate that type of thing,

That's exactly what you are! You said it yourself right here...

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

i lead these girls on, on purpose.

and then when i realize that its getting to the point that they want to really be with me, i break it off.

That's what a player is.

You are an arrogant piece of bovine excrement.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

i hope this doesnt make me seem like a creep or a scum bag...because im not.

You took the words right out of my mouth! That's exactly what you are!

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

i would never cheat on my girlfriend..

Really? REALLY? That's exactly what you are doing here...

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

the thing is now, i find myself on chatrooms just looking to talk to another girl just to "get" her.

ive done this not only online but in real life.
i lead these girls on, on purpose.

Cheating doesn't have to be physical. It can be emotional as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

shes gotten a little chubby

And you have the body of a greek god right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by theworstever

ive been getting her to loose weight.. and she has..

she does everything i ask from her.. she always does things to make me happy

Wow, you are egotistical aren't you? And a bit controlling it sounds.

Maybe it's time you break it off with her, she's too good for you. You need some time without women in your life to self reflect and try to figure out why you are not happy with YOU.

What is missing in your life that causes you to cheat on your girlfriend and break the hearts of any innocent woman in your path? I believe some counseling might be in order for you!

Your girlfriend seems to give you pretty much everything you want and you still aren't satisfied and are bored. Is the fact she is so accommodating what is boring you? Do you miss the thrill of the chase? Are you secretly hoping your bad behaviour will push her into getting mean and maybe even dumping you? Maybe the kind of girl who will take crap from you and still treat you with kindness is not the kind of girl you respect?

Or maybe you are trying to make her into you perfect girlfriend but finding out that pushing someone into that role doesn't actually work.

Quit using the flirting on the side to try and fulfill your needs and spend some time on working out what they are. If this girl can't meet them then have the respect to let her go. In the meantime stop treating her like the good old faithful standby you can keep on the back burner whilst exploring other options. That's bang out of order.

You expect the same thing to happen again if you start a relationship with another girl. So ask yourself, is the girl wrong for you or are you hard-wired to sabotage any relationship?

You need to face up to your own feelings instead of using bad behaviour to placate yourself. Only then can you work out what you really want.

You confess, she forgave you, and still you behave badly, get help.

I guess you could say I had gotten bored.

I met one of the girls I had a short thing with last week.

It had been a year since we talked.

It felt good to talk to someone and not know exactly what they were going to say.

Sometimes I feel like with my girlfriend its just repetitiveness, it doesn't excite me anymore..

I told her how I felt and she told me that if I wanted to leave her that I could.

I felt so bad. I really do love her. I just feel like I'm falling out of love, but I don't want to.

I'm trying to fight this as much as I can. I don't want to leave my girlfriend that has been so good to me, for someone who might not even care for me a fraction as much as she does.

What can I do? How do you stay in love? It feels like its so hard...

Love is what you do when you are bored. You are not in love, so be honest about it. If the thrill is gone, tell her, and leave, so she can heal and move on, and stop being lied to by you.

Is there no end to your selfish cruelty?? Maybe its you who are boring, but your dishonesty won't let you see that. That's bad when you lie to yourself.