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-   -   Best guy friend problems (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=582060)

  • Jun 15, 2011, 07:09 AM
    silver_salvator
    Best guy friend problems
    I left my boyfriend because of family problems and I thought that I might feel better and relieved that the problems ended, then I started hanging out with my best guy friend and he started to love me and I did to( that's what I thought) then when I heard that my ex-boyfriend might have a girlfriend I cried like a little girl and my friends told me that I still love my boyfriendand if I didn't I would've never cried.. I talked to my ex and he said that no he doesn't have a girlfriend and that his cousins told me that to make me jealous( it worked) I told him that I stll loved him and he said that he did too.. when my best guy friend found out that I have gotten back with my boyfriend he got mad and stopped talking to me I know that it's my fault for thinking that I loved him but it wasn't the same feeling that I have for my boyfriend maybe because I felt lonely that's why I thought I loved him... but I don't want to lose my best friend.. what should I do?
  • Jun 15, 2011, 09:14 AM
    tmtrotminor

    If your best (guy) friend decides to stop talking to you, that's his decision. You can only decide what you're going to do for yourself, so be strong in your decisions, knowing what will happen. If your guy friend isn't talking to you, maybe that's for the best. I've had guy friend who liked me while I had a guy, and my guy would always get jealous, understandably, (cause if the roles where switched, I'd be angry too). And then the other guy would get to close and try and make my guy the enemy every time we had any sort of disagreement..
    Bottom line, make your decision and go on with it. If his feeling are hurt, there's nothing you can do, so just do what you have to..
  • Jun 15, 2011, 10:14 AM
    rebeccahstrean
    In my opinion I think you should sit your best friend down and explain everything to him. In a gentle way. Like yes I did have feelings for you like that but it was a cunfusing time. Say that you're my best friend and I never want to lose that. Our friendship means everything to me. And if he doesn't want to hear it then just say this "I will always be here for you cause that what friends do and are."
    Let this be a lesson to you also. Its always good to be friends with someone before dating them to see how they are like and stuff. But also, you need to know that when you have friends of the opposite sex as you and your going through a tough time like that just hang out with them the same as if you were if you had a boyfriend. I lost one of my best friends cause we dated and we had a bad brake up cause he cheated on me. Now we don't talk. I should've never dated him just stayed friends. Hope this help:)
  • Jun 16, 2011, 08:14 AM
    Sumitkumar7266
    May be you will like the comment of the other but I am totally different.. Just think if someone would have did the same to you.. You are breaking the heart of your best friend because of your selfishness.. What about him?Did you thought what will happen to him... He was your best friend and because you was feeling lonely,you made him as your boy friend and now you are clear about your decision,you will leave him.. That is not correct.. What is his mistake?That is called playing with the heart of that guy.. Anyway this is your decision and take your decision but from my point of view,don't ever do like this to anyone.. If I would have been in your best friend situation,I could have left you with your happiness and never tried to talk with you..
  • Jun 16, 2011, 08:30 AM
    silver_salvator
    Thanks for all... I think that I will leave him to do whatever he feels... I did think about what's going to happen to him but all my friends keep saying is ''follow what you heart says and go with it, stop caring about what people want and think about what you want'' and that's what I did and my best friend got hurt... do you think I should apologize?
  • Jun 16, 2011, 08:39 AM
    Sumitkumar7266
    Comment on silver_salvator's post
    All the best..
  • Jun 16, 2011, 09:01 AM
    adviceishere
    I completely agree with Sumitkumar, you led the poor guy on and what you should have done was speak to him about your next move and the fact you were even thinking about getting back with your ex, its too late for that now though, but it may have saved him a lot of confusing and heartache, so I think it would be a good idea to at least try and make amends with him and say your sorry, if he can't accept that then at least you tried.
  • Jun 16, 2011, 09:06 AM
    silver_salvator
    Comment on adviceishere's post
    I didn't lead him to anything, he asked me out but I said no!. because I wasn't sure of what I wanted and I don't want to hurt him... but you are right, tomorrow is our last day at school I will try and talk to him but if he refused what should I do?
  • Jun 16, 2011, 09:29 AM
    adviceishere

    It says no where in your thread that he asked you out and you said no, all you have told us is he began to love you and you did too (you thought).

    Anyway you are good to try and talk to him, if he refuses then that is his problem, you have tried and that's the best you can do, sadly.
  • Jun 17, 2011, 01:41 AM
    Sumitkumar7266
    If your best friend is accepting you as your friend then I can say he is having very big heart and he is doing sacrifice for your hapiness,because in friendship after love he will hurt everyday.. Love can happen after friendship but it's very difficult to have friendship after love.. I tried once but after love,friendship is very difficult.. Whenever my ex used to speak about her boyfriend I was feeling pain in my heart.. if he is not accepting to talk with you and leave you then he is not doing bad to anyone.. He just want him to be in peace.. Anyway the friendship is over and either you or he will be not comfortable in friendship.. He will get more pain if he accept you as your friend..

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