I have been married for 14 years, and have two girls 5 and 7. My husband and I adopted them, after I basically pushed him into it. He has since come to love the girls with all his heart, and is a great dad. However, he's been a lousy husband for years. He ignores me, yells at me, and seems bummed out quite often. It's a kind of seasonal depression that's worse in the winter.
I've been feeling lost and lonely for a long time. On one hand, I'm so glad we adopted out girls, and I have a great job in education. On the other hand, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get him to be nice to me, consider my needs, and really try to be my friend... Until something happened.
I kind of broke inside. I decided I couldn't live like this. I contacted a very dear friend, and ex boyfriend who's fun, sexy, and single. I've been having a long-distance "virtual" affair. It's helped me wake up to emotions I buried, and I really felt I needed to leave my husband, and work on a functional co-parenting relationship.
When I told him this 4 months ago, he was much, much more upset than I thought he would be. He said he realized he's been a jerk, and he's try to change. He's been a new guy for me. He's nice, sexually interested, and helps around the house more. I'm a skeptic, and can't be sure this new guy is here to stay, but I also want to believe.
I'm at the crossroads. I have a new apartment, and I can move in 2 weeks, or I can back out. I'll have to wait another 6-12 months before I could move out if I back out now.
I'm most concerned about our girls well-being and sense of stability. I don't want to hurt my husband. I still want to leave, though. I don't think my ex is going to be a new boyfriend, but he might. Not sure, doesn't matter. I really don't want to look back and regret my choice.
So objective strangers, what do you think? Should I stay to avoid hurting my loved ones?

Honey I would normally say you shouldn't stay with someone you know you have no feelings for whatsoever. It's a major lie at your expense and his. It can work out for a while, but you''ll get more miserable with time and depressed, upsetting your little girls a lot more than you'd think. Relationships that don't work are far more dangerous and conflicting than divorce. Bits of opinion, though.

Has your husband considered antidepressants?

Since you have his attention, and he wants to change, why not give it a try since the stakes are so high. This time get some help to resolve your problems, and start with a check up, as the root of his behavior could be as simple as talking to a doctor.