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-   Etiquette (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=115)
-   -   What is her problem? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=581242)

  • Jun 11, 2011, 12:06 AM
    LuvGirl0909
    What is her problem?
    So 6 months ago, I got into this huge argument with another female, we are both females. She's in the Air Force and I'm a civilian. It was over something so petty. It was about wo bump into who first. Then it went from calling each other names.It was so ugly that the commander got involved. 5 months later I saw the girl and pulled her to the side so I could talk things out with her. She asked me if I was going to be rude. I said no. So chatted and she told me it was big of me, meaning I was being the bigger person.So ever sine then I'll say hi to her and ask her how she is doing. She'll respond. But I realize she never speaks to me unless I speak to her first.I'll see her at the gym,the mall, the store and she doesn't even break a smile or say hello. Why is that? I did ask her if she had anything against me. She said and said she never had anything against me because she barley knows me. So what is her deal. Why can't she said hi and bye to me. Why does she walk around like she is still holding a grudge. She did say she stay to herself to avoid drama. But I don't think a simple hello will kill her and get her kicked out of the Air Force.
  • Jun 14, 2011, 10:40 AM
    aliseaodo

    If things have smoothed over from the original incident, and as you said, you hardly know each other, I guess I'm not seeing what the issue is with her behavior?.
  • Jun 14, 2011, 04:50 PM
    J_9

    I'm not seeing the issue either. She doesn't want to be friends, just leave her alone and let her live her life.
  • Jun 14, 2011, 05:01 PM
    Alty

    I'll third the other advice. Why are you expecting a hello from her? She doesn't want to be friends, and she doesn't seem to want to be friendly. There's no rule that states someone has to say hello to you just because you two once had a fight and you apologized.
  • Aug 18, 2011, 09:37 AM
    Aurora_Bell
    I do agree that you can't force someone to like you. When I was growing up, if you saw someone you knew, you smiled or waved. People just don't do that anymore.

    If she says she barely knows you, and has no issues, then just let it be. If you think she is someone you might like to get to know, or want to be her friend, no harm in offering to go to coffee or lunch.

    If she does accept, don't talk about the incident, talk about light, non confrontational things, weather, media, kids etc...

    If she doesn't accept, leave it be, and if you feel so inclined to be polite and smile when you see her out, do so, but otherwise let her and IT go.
  • Aug 18, 2011, 11:24 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    I have to wonder what YOUR issue is, why do you think this person has to be a friend, They perhaps still don't like you, and feel you were in the wrong and got them into trouble with the base commander. ( big deal)

    They are speaking now when you speak and that is etiquette, there is no requirement for them to speak to you first.

    Why are you seeing them all the time, what is your connection with her ? Why can't you just stop talking to her at all and let it go?
  • Sep 3, 2011, 07:36 PM
    trulytrying
    Perhaps when she sees you--she is reminded of her own ill behavior and it makes her feel aggrivated--at you and herself. You did the right thing to try and smooth things out. You can continue to give a brief, polite smile in passing--but, I wouldn't try and engage her in anyway as she obviously doesn't want it. Try not to take it personally... just let her be.

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