Im gay just to let everyone know,
Im 18 and my ex is 18 also, We where together for 14months,
We were eachothers first love, we always hung out at least 4 times a week, stayed at eachothers houses and started talking about moving in with each other.we were BEST FRIENDS!
We have had it rough though, We have broken up 2 times before this one,
The first time was because he felt like he wanted to have his own space and didn't want a relationship,He ended up realising he made a mistake a couple days later and asked for me back, and I said yes, Then 5 months later, I caught him talking to other guys on an APP on his iPhone called "grindr" which is where you find local guys in the area your in and swap pictures etc (nude) ( I used to always have a bad feeling he had the app on his phone and ask him, and he always denied it) He had used it for 2months, downloaded it every time I left his house, and deleted it when he knew I was coming to see him,
Anyway he pretty much broke up with me because I caught him..
Every since that the trust issues started happening, but the relationship felt a lot more deeper and he cared more about me, And now is when it gets worse, he went away on a vacation with his family and I got really drunk with a friend and ended up hooking up with him, we didn't have sex we did other things, But once I realised what was happening and came to terms what I was doing I stopped it, and I didn't tell him until he got back,because that was the right thing, he got angry at first but forgave me, and then it felt like I started to loose feelings for him.. He got really clingy and I felt smothered, but at the same time I liked the fact that it wasn't me being the one who would always be lovey dovey all the time,
Then 1month later, we had a argument because he was drunk and wouldn't give me a ciggerettee... Silly I know! And I got that angry I through my drink on him! :( I felt terrible and we kind of got over that, and THEN he got more drunk, and started saying he doesn't trust me anymore and that he wanted to be single and find someone else, and I was like.. what the f***.. Its been amazing lately, yes we had our bad patchs but it really felt like we started to grow into a good relationship, The next day I rang him and he said he was sure he wanted to break up and that it wasn't drunk words talking, it then hit me that its over.. Thing is, I haven't cried.. like the other times, I get sad and constantly think about it but I don't cry.. Maybe I'm hiding it deep down?its only been one week though..
He has me blocked on Facebook and we both have new numbers now..
Im hoping he unblocks me and ask how I am or something because I do love him, I just don't want him to forget about me.
Im sorry if this doesn't make much sense but I'm in a bad state, feel confused and out of it, I don't know what to do to get over it, I feel like I'm never going to find someone as good looking as him, amazing personality as him, straight acting like me!
He was just the perfect person for me.. Despite all the drama we had in the past, we could have worked through it and built a better relationship..
Please tell me what to do, and thank you in advance...

With all this drama how exactly was this ''perfect''?

It wasn't-you kept breaking up and this time I suggest you realise that you're much better off apart.

Start rebuilding your life ,heal and move on.

If only it was that simple, and every relationship has problems..

This relationship is over, and you just need more time for a proper healing, so you can move on, and do better next time.

Some take longer than others to move on, but break ups suck for all of us.