I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years! We are both over 30 yrs old.

Uplate I have been feeling as if I am being used ( in others words like my boyfriend is just a leach). I have my own place, car, job, etc.etc. very independent woman.

My boyfriend is living in a sub-leased apartment, has no car, and always depend on me to cook for him. He helps me out when he can ( buying dinner or paying for my hair and nails to be upkept).

My problem is uplate I 've been a finanicial rut. I have talked to him about it but he says nothing, not even to offer to pay for a con-ed bill or cable bill which he utilizes at my apartment. He also said he would start paying a bill or two of mine, being he stays at my apartment all the time.

He had gave me a debit card in his name which I had for about two months and he told me to use it whenever I needed money. Well the other day I used $100.00 off the card and three days later he asked for his card back saying he was broke and needed the card back, (yes he has more than one bank account) that's why I don't understand why he asked for the card back??

He talks a good game but I am starting to trust my inner feeling that he is looking for me to take care of him.

HELP! I need some feedback from some intelligent grown folk..

It doesn't matter where who lives, or what bills you have separately. You are responsible for your life style, he is responsible for his. The only time there should be a discussion of money, is when you go out together or by food to sit in. That's it. You both should live within your means, and if you cannot afford cable or electric, turn them off.

Go to his dinky apartment sometimes if you cannot have him at your place for free. Never should he be responsible for your bills, and if that's what you want, a guy who is generous with HIS money, then get one.

Don't hint at what you expect, ask for it, or at least express what you expect from him, and if he can't get with the program... whats the point? Just remember, you live separately, so don't expect him to pay any of your bills as I sure wouldn't. But you wouldn't pay mine either, and gas money for rides or favors is up front before you go any where.

If he isn't generous enough for your taste, then dump the dude, but at least talk, and find a way to compromise in a way that benefits you both. You are independent, then stay that way, since you don't live together.

Just curious, what did you spend a hundred bucks on? I would never give a partner a credit/debit card to keep for their own use. Hey you got 100 bucks so what the complaint? After 3 years, I would expect these things were ironed out, and solved already.

You have high expectations but are they reasonable?? Hmmm!

I have been with my partner for three years now, and everything is OK, except lately he lies about every little thing. Then he says he he didn't say it or do it.

Example #1: One day he told me he bought me a coat and when I saw him I asked him for the coat and he said he didn't say he bought the coat he said he was going to buy the coat! Clearly, he was lying, I told him that is not what you said and he denies the truth.

Example #2: Last month he had washed his daughter's hair and I asked him if he had blow dried it. At first, he didn't respond to my question, than he said, out of nowhere, "The only B**** I have my daughter around is the one who does her hair". Which I took offense to, because I don't see his daughter when he has her. So, I felt like indirectly he was saying her mother is the one that has a say-so about his daughter's hair, and not me.

I questioned him about that nasty comment, and he said that is not what he said.

I don't know if this man is playing head/mind games with me, or if he is battling some type of disorder, and he can't help himself.

Borderline doesn't fit as a diagnosis. (Not sure when you got that idea.)

It sounds like he is on the defensive about stuff. Please stop pushing him into a corner (or making him feel that way).