I have a 6 year old son, that I would like for my husband now to adopt. When my son was 2 he had supervised visitation with my ex, then it went to overnights every other weekend, during that time my ex would take my son whom I have full custody of and would refuse to return him. Three years ago my ex tried to run off with my son on Christmas and the police had to get my ex to bring my son back. When my ex gave my son back to me my son smelled of animal urine and had head lice. I went to court after that and my ex's visitation was suspended, and since then my ex has not tried to call my son, or see him and has not paid child support since 2008. I am trying to get abandonment papers so that my new husband to adopt him since he has been supporting him since he was 3 years old.

You need the father's permission in order for your new husband to adopt your son.

What State? Why haven't you taken him back to Court for child support? The agreement with adoption sometimes is "sign these papers and you won't have to pay support any longer."

The cases of legal abandonment are few and far between. Judges are very reluctant to sever the connection between a parent and a child, no matter how bad a parent he/she is and no matter how negligent.

I live in South Carolina, My divorce was done in Richland county, but I live in Lexington county. I have brought my ex back to court for child support once and his parents paid his bail, after he was put in jail. I have tried to get him back in court, but the family court says that I need to talk to my caseworker, but every time I call her I get her answering machine that says she is not taking or returning any calls. Another thing is that family court nor I know where my ex is living at. And the phone numbers that I have to contact him have been disconnected. And it has been set up for a long time now that he is supposed to be paying child support through the court. I don't understand though why the judge would make me get his say on my husband adopting my son with all the criminal records my ex has on him; like assult with intent to kill on a police officer.

§ 63-7-2570

The family court may order the termination of parental rights upon a finding of one or more of the following grounds and a finding that termination is in the best interests of the child:

The child or another child in the home has been harmed, and because of the severity or repetition of the abuse or neglect, it is not reasonably likely that the home can be made safe within 12 months. In determining the likelihood that the home can be made safe, the parent's previous abuse or neglect of the child or another child in the home may be considered.
The child has been removed from the parent, has been out of the home for a period of 6 months following the adoption of a placement plan, and the parent has not remedied the conditions that caused the removal.
The child has lived outside the home of either parent for a period of 6 months, and during that time the parent has willfully failed to visit the child. The court may attach little or no weight to incidental visitations, but it must be shown that the parent was not prevented from visiting by the party having custody or by court order.
The child has lived outside the home of either parent for a period of 6 months, and during that time the parent has willfully failed to support the child. Failure to support means that the parent has failed to make a material contribution to the child's care.
The presumptive legal father is not the biological father of the child, and the welfare of the child can best be served by termination of the parental rights of the presumptive legal father.
The parent has a diagnosable condition unlikely to change within a reasonable time including, but not limited to, alcohol or drug addiction, mental deficiency, mental illness, or extreme physical incapacity, and the condition makes the parent unlikely to provide minimally acceptable care of the child. It is presumed that the parent's condition is unlikely to change within a reasonable time upon proof that the parent has been required to participate in a treatment program for alcohol or drug addiction and has failed two or more times to complete the program successfully.
The child has been abandoned.
The child has been in foster care under the responsibility of the State for 15 of the most recent 22 months.
The physical abuse of a child of the parent resulted in the death or admission to the hospital for in-patient care of that child, and the abuse is the act for which the parent has been convicted of committing, aiding, abetting, conspiring to commit, or soliciting to commit an offense against the person, criminal domestic violence, criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature, or assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature.
A parent of the child is convicted of the murder of the child's other parent.
The child was conceived as a result of the criminal sexual conduct of a biological parent unless the sentencing court makes specific findings on the record that the conviction resulted from consensual sexual conduct where neither the victim nor the actor were younger than age 14 nor older than age 18 at the time of the offense.

Neglect
Citation: Ann. Code § 63-7-20

Child abuse or neglect or harm occurs when the parent, guardian, or other person responsible for the child's welfare fails to supply the child with adequate food, clothing, shelter, education as required by law; supervision appropriate to the child's age and development; or health care even though financially able to do so or offered financial or other reasonable means to do so and the failure to do so has caused or presents a substantial risk of causing physical or mental injury.

Abandonment
Citation: Ann. Code § 63-7-20

Abandonment of a child means a parent or guardian willfully deserts a child or willfully surrenders physical possession of a child without making adequate arrangements for the child's needs or the continuing care of the child.

Before posting on a site like this, it pays to browse around a bit for similar questions or FAQs. Had you done so you might have found this:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-364259.html

Forget about filing abandonment papers. Go right for the adoption. Get an attorney and petition the court for adoption. As part of the adoption petition will be a request to terminate his rights. In your case there shouldn't be a problem. You may have to make some extra effort to prove you have informed the father of the court proceedings. But I doubt if the court will refuse the adoption even if he doesn't show for hearings or even if he doesn't agree.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Forget about filing abandonment papers. Go right for the adoption. Get an attorney and petition the court for adoption. As part of the adoption petition will be a request to terminate his rights. In your case there shouldn't be a problem. You may have to make some extra effort to prove you have informed the father of the court proceedings. But I doubt if the court will refuse the adoption even if he doesn't show for hearings or even if he doesn't agree.

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Originally Posted by nannybird03

I don't understand though why the judge would make me get his say on my husband adopting my son with all the criminal records my ex has on him; like assult with intent to kill on a police officer.?

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It is possible to go forward without a biological parent's consent if you can prove that the absent parent has not exercised any parental rights and if you can convince the court that it's appropriate to legally terminate that parent-child relationship. Most states' laws allow parental rights to be terminated when a parent has willfully failed to support the child or has abandoned the child for a period, usually a year. Generally, abandonment means that the absent parent hasn't communicated with the child or supported the child financially.

But it may happen only on the judge's discretion.

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Originally Posted by nannybird03

that he is supposed to be paying child support through the court.

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Probably through DCSE.

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Originally Posted by nannybird03

I don't understand though why the judge would make me get his say on my husband adopting my son with all the criminal records my ex has on him;

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The answer to that is; because the law says so. But as GV70 and I noted, a judge will probably have discretion on this issue.

So that's why I say forget about filing for abandonment. You don't do that, Abandonment may be used as grounds for something else. So you want to just go ahead with the adoption.

I am reading that the Court suspended visitation. This may or may not be a deadbeat father who chooses not to visit. I also note that the father hasn't petititoned for visitation.

Not to beat a dead horse but the Court did not strip the father of his rights when this was "going on;" his visitation rights were removed.

Does it make a difference if he wasn't allowed to visit if he wanted to?

The court may have just suspended visitation because there was no pending adoption. Throw that into the mix and it may make a difference.