[F] Me and Nick had a great Relationship as far as I new. But he just dumped me for this girl who is a total loser. But this girl won't date him and he won't take me back. He drew this picture of a beautiful fairy that looked a lot like me an he said he drew because he was thinking of me and missed me. But ere still not together. I don't want to move on and lose him. We have a lot in common and this guy is perfect and I'm just not. I was his longest working relationship. I don't want to forget him I want to get back together but i don't know how to get him back and telling him how much I'm in love with him.:(

Sorry to burst your bubble but no one is perfect. You have set him out to be on a pedestal. Guess what, that does not work and you need to get him down from there.

Joe

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours. If they don't, it was never meant to be.

If this guy were so perfect he would stay with you, dear. The two of you sound young, and this is going to sound harsh but it is true: When a guy does that he's only been interested in one thing to begin with, and he does not know what he wants. I wish you well, and hope you free yourself from this boy.

I think what concerns me more than Nick being "perfect" as you describe him, is your view of yourself. I will get back to that thought in a moment.

Still in Love, I know you have probably heard this before but you are still young. You are starting to enter "womanhood" and from a scientific point of view, your body is experiencing a lot of chemical changes, which in turn, affects the brain's response. You are going to find yourself becoming extremely depressed, have intense feelings of loneliness at times, and that no one understands you. All of this is normal. Welcome to the rocky world of being a woman! :-)

You are at the beginning of finding out who you are, what you like and dislike, and what works and doesn't work for you in a relationship. I know this is hard to understand but what you have gone through with Nick is the beginning of understanding yourself better.

I know you are feeling lonely and want to get back together with him. But, and please read this carefully and reread it again when you are unsure of yourself. He "dumped" you for another girl who wants nothing to do with him AND he still doesn't want to get back together again. It may seem a lot more complicated to you but it really is a very simple thing. He has moved on and will continue to look for someone new no matter what you say or do. Accept this and you will find yourself moving on as well.

I am assuming you have friends. If not, let me know and I will come up with some other ideas for you. But for now, lets go with that. What do you like to do with your friends? Shopping, ice skating, playing video games,. Think about what you like to do, what is fun for you, and go and DO IT. Relax, and enjoy yourself. Just stop thinking about what you had with Nick and think about doing something just for yourself. We all need some "ME" time to help us get a better perspective of where we are heading and where we want to go in life. We older women like bubble baths, getting pedicures and manicures, having our hairstyle changed, going to the movies and grabbing a bite to eat with our friends. And, we just talk ourselves silly. This is one way that we women handle the disappointing relationships in life.

I can promise you, that if you do this for yourself, over time you will stop pining away for him. It is now time to start looking at other options and other boys. Please believe me -- someone better, someone worthy of you, will come along eventually. By better, I mean someone who really wants to be with you and thinks you are special. And, that new guy probably won't be the last one. We need to go through these relationships, as painful as the break ups can be, to help us figure out who we are and what we want.

Getting back to your view on yourself. You know in your heart that this is a very unhealthy attitude. If you don't believe in yourself, who will? Reread that again please! The answer to this is no one. You need to recognize that you have some very good qualities. We all do. And, we all have some negative qualities. As the person above my entry wrote, no one is perfect. It is an impossibility. Humans are flawed because, to try to put it simply, we think and reason, and if we do not have good role models, our judgement on how we handle things can be clouded. We make mistakes. And, we continue to make mistakes throughout our lives. It is all part of the learning process and it never, ever ends.

Please do this exercise for yourself. I want you to write a list with two columns. At the top of the page you will make two headings. One will say, I am a good person because,...... The other heading will say, I am a bad person because,..... Then start thinking about each of those and start putting your thoughts down. This isn't something that can be done in a couple of hours. Give this a lot of thought and carry your list with you in your pocket. When a thought hits, write it down. Keep adding to this list for at least one week. At the end of that time, when you think you have completed it, reread it, edit it, and then put it in a drawer for a week. At the end of the second week, take another look at it, and add any new things you might have left out and cross out anything that doesn't make sense. Keep doing this for a while. I can promise you, at the end of a couple of months, there will be a lot more entries in the "good" column than the "bad".

Quite often, we all need to remind ourselves that we have a lot of good qualities and that we actually have a lot going for us.

Please let me know how it goes.

Good luck on your mission! :-)

Still in Love, you are not too young and still loving him is a normal response. You can still love him, but please, try my suggestion will you? It can't possibly hurt anything and the only thing I want to do is to try to help you. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself is not the answer. Get active girl! :) You are living in a much more "enlightened age" than it was when I was a kid. There is nothing that you can't do with your life if you apply yourself. You have so many more choices and options than I had. You have got to look at the positive side of things. Do stuff with your friends and get yourself out there.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by StillxInxLove

[F] Me and Nick had a great Relationship as far as I new. But he just dumped me for this girl who is a total loser. But this girl won't date him and he won't take me back. He drew this picture of a beautiful fairy that looked a lot like me an he said he drew because he was thinking of me and missed me. But ere still not together. I don't want to move on and lose him. We have a lot in common and this guy is perfect and I'm just not. I was his longest working relationship. I don't want to forget him I want to get back together but i don't know how to get him back and telling him how much I'm in love with him.:(

---

Dear,
It's a so simpal. Dear you show that I love so much you.you show nick that I can't live without you.you donot care nick but take care his feeling.