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-   -   Why won't he propose after 5 years? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=578636)

  • May 27, 2011, 07:14 PM
    Ella33
    Why won't he propose after 5 years?
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We bought a house and got a dog about 2 years ago. Over the past year or so I've asked him about marriage a few times. We have spoken about our future together and know that we want to get married and have kids. Although he says he wants to marry me, he says we just don't have the money for a ring right now. What bothers me is that we both have good jobs and if he really wanted too, he could buy a ring. I don't want to put any pressure on him but I just want our relationship to move forward. I'm really sick of being just his girlfriend and don't want to wait another year or two before he gets his act together. What should I do?
  • May 27, 2011, 08:07 PM
    talaniman

    How much do you need for a ring? Is he saving for one? Sounds like an excuse to me, but that happens when you do things like you are married before you actually are.

    Go get a ring! That's affordable. If he still gives excuses then you decide what YOU want more. A husband, or a boyfriend, and don't settle.
  • May 27, 2011, 09:17 PM
    COOKIE MONSTER

    If you have a good life now without the ring
    Why push for one?
    Is it so important that you get a new title a shiney rock,aband of gold and a bit of paper??
    As long as you both love each other then that's all that should matter.
    Hes made a huge commitment by getting a house with you that's not something either of you can walk away from easily.
    Pushing for this could ruin what you have.
  • Jun 4, 2011, 02:36 AM
    Lovely33
    His excuse is that he doesn't have money for the ring? Oh dear...

    Any time lasting more than 1.5 years is honestly obvious that he's never going to get married unless you glue him to the ground in a church with a tux. He's been waiting this long, and its what, about 3 months salary for a ring? At least a nice one. I know you don't want to hear this, but he might be trying to fool you with the illusion of a marriage (dog, house, etc) and distract you from that missing element. I'd give him a serious talk, or end it.
  • Jul 15, 2011, 02:52 AM
    Luby1964
    Yeah I am in the same situation. We've been together 6 years, bought a house together 18 months. The difference we are older and I've been married before and have an 18 year old son. He says he's made enough of a commitment to me by selling his house and buying a new one together, which it is. However, I still have this niggling feeling that he will never fully "commit", and can't work out why. Hence the Google search ha ha!

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