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-   -   Spouse not supportive of dad's death (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=577924)

  • May 23, 2011, 09:36 PM
    hurting4
    Spouse not supportive of dad's death
    My father passed away recently far away which made me travel. We did not have the money for me to travel so my family lend me the money and I went. My husband did not go, but when I came back my husband did not even give me a shoulder to cry on nor did he show compassion. Any time that I have brought up the subject of my dad, he changes the conversation or just stays silent without a response. He is upset because I went knowing that we did not have the money and the 2nd thing is my husband can not understand why I cry so much when I have been so angry at my father all these years. My father was an alcoholic all his life, and I did have it very rough... but I was able to forgive my father before I knew he was ill. How can I make my husband understand what I am going through? Please any advice.. I am truly hurting and my husband does not listen to me.
  • May 24, 2011, 05:49 PM
    JudyKayTee

    You can't make people do anything they don't want to do. For whatever reason (maybe it's because you can't afford the trip, maybe it's because you have been estranged from your family) he is upset and possibly hurt by your decision to attend the funeral. You attended without him?

    The fact that you can forgive your father doesn't mean your husband can.

    You can talk to friends or other relatives or a counsellor.

    Your husband is closed off from this subject - perhaps he is really worried about finances and this trip has made things worse.

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