I'm 18, and me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. He broke up with me 3 days after my birthday and a day after my party. He said that he didn't want a relationship right now and that he doesn't want to be tied down in college and that he doesn't have a car to see me in college (4 hours apart) and I'm going to Utah to see my cousins for a while. As I cried I asked him if he'll come back to me, he says he doesn't know. I asked if he wanted a break, he says it's not a relationship. When I said I understood, he left me at the park crying in the dirt.
For the next few days we don't contact each other. I wanted to talk to him so bad but friends told us to leave each other alone. He told my friend he didn't miss me an he doubts we're getting back together. Then one day, he talked to me. He said the same thing again and that he loves me as a friend. I told him that I missed him and that what he did hurt, especially the fact that he didn't talk to me about how he felt. He said he wasn't happy. He was basically carrying on the relationship for a month unhappy and it made me cry more. I told him he was taking away my favorite things in life and that or hurt. That's when he started crying. As he cried he said that he misses everything about me and my kisses and hugs but it's not fair to me because he's the one that broke up with me. He cried 3 times and apologized to me over and over again. He then asked for a hug. I gave him one and he pulled me into his lap and hugged me tightly. He said that he lied and still loved as strong as before. Then I asked again if he'll come back, he said I don't know anymore. From there he talked about messing around with other people and college and stuff. We started saying stuff like "would it be wrong of me to...?" stuff like come over again, kiss, hug.. etc (yes, not today ( then changed to all good things come to an end), yes). Then he said he can see me as his best friend because he trusts me more than anyone. With that we hugged again. We old each other there's no one else like each othe and that we loved each other still. We talked for 3 hours.
Yesterday he offered a ride to take me home and to school. I said no to school, butt yes to home. When he took me home I told him I was confused about yesterday and then he said he didn't think it was a good idea because of that. I asked him if I brought drama onto his life, he said yes and everyone does that. He then said he doesn't think he should talk to me and I said the same. He said he really really wants me to be happy. I left that car crying as he called out my name. Afterwards I called him and told him I was sorry for what I did. He said okay and that he didn't feel like talking. I called again 10 min later saying that I want to try being friends and that I'm sorry again. It made him happier and he then he said he'd like that but we agreed to not talk to each othe for a while. We left telling each other I love you. Before I went to sleep, I text him saying I was sorry again and after that I won't talk to him anymore. When I woke up, I he text back saying, "dont feel bad I think you did the right thing" and lastly before he went to sleep he text "good night :)" like he use to before the breakup.
What's going on with him? Will he come back? I'm trying to occupy myself as much as I can and gain my independence back. He's my first love. What do you think?
* EDIT: He told me at the park he didn't want anymore drama and he wants to be free. He told me when we talked he likes being single an alone. At some point in the relationship I was clingy and then I stopped. He says e still thinks about me all the time.