Ask Me Help Desk - Grand parent

Grand parent

Hello:

I am a grandparent of two children by my son. My son cannot contact this site without his wife or mother-in-law looking into who he is in contact with so I have to be his go between. He currently lives in Texas and would like to have custody of his two children.

His wife and his mother-in-law whom they all live together are by-polar. His mother-in-law is also Hep C infected.

He would like to move to California and get established and then get custody of his children but doesn't want to be charged with abandonment. He doesn't want to hurt his custody case by leaving the state. He has no family or friends in the Houston area.

I don't know to help him or my grandchildren. I will provide them housing with me should he decide to leave. He has been staying with his wife only for the sake of his children. He called me last night and asked when do you decide that you have invested enough time into a relationship.

dolfin9080

Quote:

Originally Posted by dolfin9080

Hello:

I am a grandparent of two children by my son. My son cannot contact this site without his wife or mother-in-law looking into who he is in contact with so I have to be his go between. He currently lives in Texas and would like to have custody of his two children.

His wife and his mother-in-law whom they all live together are by-polar. His mother-in-law is also Hep C infected.

He would like to move to California and get established and then get custody of his children but doesn't want to be charged with abandonment. He doesn't want to hurt his custody case by leaving the state. He has no family or friends in the Houston area.

I don't know to help him or my grandchildren. I will provide them housing with me should he decide to leave. He has been staying with his wife only for the sake of his children. He called me last night and asked when do you decide that you have invested enough time into a relationship.

dolfin9080

A few questions will have to be answered before we can provide you with an accurate answer: Is your son established as the legal father of these children? Was he married to the mother at the time of conception and/or when the children were born? If not, was a DNA test done to establish paternity or did he sign a paternity acknowledgment? Is he listed on the birth certificates as the father?

He won't want to hear it, but leaving the state will absolutely hurt his chances of obtaining custody. The children are used to a particular lifestyle and familiar surroundings; he cannot decide to uproot them simply because he "has no family or friends in the Houston area."

Additionally, how old are the children? Who has been their primary caregiver during the marriage?

The bi-polar will most likely only be considered if the mother or her mother could potentially harm the children. The mother-in-law's hepatitis C has no bearing on the custody case.

Can he PROVE that the mother is a danger to the children?

If not, he will probably NOT get full custody.

If he leaves the state, it is VERY unlikely that he will be allowed to take the children with him.

He needs to talk to a lawyer.

Plus, you say he wants to move, 'get established,' and then get custody some time later? If he isn't in a highly sought after type of job, he might find that CA is worse off than a lot of TX is.
Perhaps what he could do is move in with you and start the process from your address, while writing a monthly check to her for their support, the final amount of which will be determined by the court. But he may find that the custody arrangement won't be to his liking, and he will have to commute to see or get his kids.

Quote:

Originally Posted by this8384

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He won't want to hear it, but leaving the state will absolutely hurt his chances of obtaining custody. The children are used to a particular lifestyle and familiar surroundings; he cannot decide to uproot them simply because he "has no family or friends in the Houston area."
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

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If he leaves the state, it is VERY unlikely that he will be allowed to take the children with him.
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OP can correct me if I am wrong, of course, but as I read the question, the childrens' father was not considering taking the children with him, but moving to California and then suing for custody, in Texas presumably (He would have to sue in Texas, by the way.).

Quote:

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

OP can correct me if I am wrong, of course, but as I read the question, the childrens' father was not considering taking the children with him, but moving to California and then suing for custody, in Texas presumably (He would have to sue in Texas, by the way.).

That's also how I read the question, which is why I responded as I did. Unless he can prove that the mother is harmful to the children, it's highly unlikely that the judge will allow him to uproot the children from their familiar surroundings.

Yes, he needs to stay in Texas, file for custody or at least joint custody and go from there.