Ask Me Help Desk - Is he a rebound? Or I only think that it is a rebound?

My ex and I had broke up but never really got a proper closure since we still hang out like we were a couple. Until I found out that she met a guy which her friends (who didn't like me from the first place) introduce to her. They texted, since I was 184Kms away from her, the guy fetch her often after work and dated twice when I was gone. But every time that I would be home, everything was still the same for us and I mean everything like nothing happened. Went away for my final exams, we had a huge argument and didn't communicate for 2days. On the third day, I found out that she already said yes to the guy.

After my final exams, I went home. Talk to her, confronted her and told her that I love her. And she said that she feels the same but can't be with me because she has already a boyfriend. But she still sleeps with me, have sex with me and everything. Eventually I am now very far from her and didn't communicate to her for 5days now. She stood me up the night before I left town.

She and my sister talk and she said that she had only said yes to the guy because of the pain she felt from me. She said she still loves me but she can't be with me. Is the guy a rebound? What should I do? I really want her back. Please do help me. I am so desperate, I can't pull myself back together. I need help and someone to talk to. She was my only friend, my best friend, someone who I can talk to, the important person in my life, my everything.

She is still texting me with I love you's and I miss you but I ignore her messages even though it hurts me so much.

They are on their second month next week. They already had sex and all. Tried to convince her to come back to me but to no avail.How long does a rebound last? Does it work? My ex is the long term relationship type of girl. She would always tell me how a gentleman the guy is and that he is too kind, caring, almost his ideal guy, the guy she never knew she wanted. :|

I'm speechless!

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And she said that she feels the same but can't be with me because she has already a boyfriend.

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She said she still loves me but she can't be with me

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Listen/read to what she is telling you. She has a boyfriend... whether or not he becomes a rebound is possible but anyone's guess.

Seems like you missed the fact that you have just been a "friend" since you broke up and being a "friend" is a very bad idea after a breakup.Why? Because she gets to use you for whatever she wants (sex, etc.) without any of the regular commitments of a exclusive relationship. She coasted through the breakup(with your support), felt good about herself and found someone new. Now you're left with all the pain. Some friend, huh?

Sorry guy but, she's gone.. she has a new guy. Right now, you still may be an option. But, why be an option to anyone? After breakups we go on living our lives for ourselves, heal up, get happy again and meet new people. Just let her go, read the stickies at the top of the relationship page and go No Contact.

Oh please wake up dude. This female is doing what she wants, when she want to, with whomever she wants, and for all you know, your long term relationship type of girl, is sleeping with you and her new boyfriend.

And those are only the ones you know about! Sex is not love, and when you get dumped you leave them alone. Look at all the time you wasted.

She sure has your nose open. Very wide I might add. In case you are unfamiliar to that term "nose open", it means you are being made a fool of, but don't know it.

But I am sure that others have told you that.

She has a boyfriend,she cheats on him -is that the kind of drama you want in your life?

Go no contact and have nothing more to do with her-she's a player-being played is never a good thing.

Plain and simple... you are being used. If she really loved you and wanted to be with you, she would be. She likes having two guys to go back and forth with... and you are allowing her to do so.

A rebound relationship is when you get into a new relationship very soon after a break-up in hopes of feeling better about yourself and trying to heal the pain. It is not keeping the new and old relationships going at the same time.

If you want someone who is committed to you, you will need to look elsewhere because she isn't the one.

I agree with what everyone else has said but I'm wondering why you want her back? What does it matter if the guy is a rebound or not, why are you so willing to share her with another guy?
You are sounding very desperate and she seems to thrive off your desperation.
Leave the girl alone.

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

My ex and I had broke up but never really got a proper closure since we still hang out like we were a couple.

I don't know what you wanted for "proper closure" you had several sexual sessions after your break up, wasn't that enough? Also, the best closure is getting over her, which you are choosing not to have... because you are keeping false hope alive. Just because she is still spreading her legs to you (and not just you) doesn't mean she wants to have a relationship with you.

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

but she still sleeps with me, have sex with me and everything.

If she has a boyfriend (whether it is a rebound or not) you need to respect her relationship, she is now considered off-limits to you!

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

She and my sister talk and she said that she had only said yes to the guy because of the pain she felt from me.

What she is saying and how she is acting contradict each other, in my brain, actions are louder than words.

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

Is the guy a rebound?

Like I said, it doesn't matter, you need to respect her decisions.

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

What should I do?

Considering that she is keeping you there as back up or as a fu#k buddy, unless that is what you want and not a relationship I suggest that you leave her and make a clean break, or she will continue to play you for a fool.

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

She was my only friend, my bestfriend, someone who i can talk to, the important person in my life, my everything.

This means that you need to go out there, and meet other people, you cannot depend on ONE person. Like Tala has said several times, do not make your partner your priority.

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Originally Posted by Brokeice

They are on their second month next week. They already had sex and all.

They have already been having sex and everything, be careful man because you don't know what that guy may have, and therefore she has now. So back up cause their relationship seems to be taking off. Live your life and let her live her, you need to break up seriously and go No Contact so that you can start healing from this.

Good Luck,
Javi