Hi I'm 21 years old and my girlfriend is 20 we've been going out since I was 18 she goes to school about 2 hours from where I live in the beginning it was awesome we used to hangout a lot and when she would leave back to school we'd call each other everyday now 3 years later she all of a sudden has asked for some space to think things through so we broke up for about a month rite now we're in the middle of working things out but now she barely wants to talk she says she always too busy or tired she says she loves me and wants to be with me but I have a feeling something is happening should I be worried?

It may simply be she is rethinking what she wants and needs from a relationship. She may be trying to focus on school a bit more right now. It is not unusual for things to slow down a bit after you have been together for so long.

Maybe she doesn't need to hang out as often anymore. At this point, try not to read more into the situation. People can want some breathing room without there automatically being someone else in the picture.

I know it can be hard not to think of those things, given the situation, since you are probably still wondering what she is needing some space for and what she is thinking through.

Since you are in the middle of working things out, give it some time. Talk about what you both want and need in the relationship. No doubt before long you will get a clearer picture as to what direction things are going.

Since we're working things out wouldn't we talk a little bit more? Alls I ask for is 5 minutes of her day just to see how her day is and she ends up saying she's too busy or tired alls I'm worried about is if she's cheating

You could always ask her if there is someone else that she is interested in. Ask her if she is considering not dating you exclusively.

I already have and she's says she loves me and wants to be with me but she just needs space and time I'm just really confused because we went from being good one night to all of a sudden she needs space

It appears all you can do then is give her that space and time. Not likely to ease your concerns, but if you trust her to tell you the truth, then you need to believe what she is telling you. Do you have any reason to not believe her?

Think of it this way. Why would she start working things out with you if she was seeing someone else? Since you had already broken up, what would be the point of trying to get back together if she didn't want to try.

Has school been more stressful then usual for her? Does she work? Does she have time to hang out with friends or family?

You will drive yourself crazy with what you can imagine. Instead, try to focus on the working things out part that you have going on right now. Let her know that you understand that she is busy, but you would like to spend at least a little more time together either in person or perhaps talking on the phone.

I trust her 100% I think the only thing that bothers me that I get the feeling that she'd rather hangout with her friends than talk to me for a minute or two I only get to are her when she comes home for the weekend or if I go down and visit her it seems when we're together we're so happy together but when she goes back to school she turns into a different person

Committed couples work things out together,not through 'breaks or needing space'.

Sorry,if she seriously wanted to work on this relationship,she'd be there,with you,doing that.

I agree with amicon, in part, but for some people too much togetherness is just that, too much. And when people start a serious relationship at a young age, they sometimes do end up needing some space. It could become a permanent break, it could be just a period of figuring out what they want... which may be this situation.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with friends, and if she is doing that, there will obviously be less time to spend with you. Apparently she has added to her interests in life, and school along with friends, will be a big part of that for some people. She may be trying to juggle her time for it all. What specifically did she say she needed to think through? Did she give you a reason?

It is sudden for you, but she has likely been giving it some thought for awhile.

You said you used to hangout a lot, so maybe she just wants to do some things with friends more than she had been.

If you are wanting more time with her, and she wants to have time with her friends as well, then the two of you will need to find a balance that you both are comfortable with.

It may be that the two of you will start to drift apart, at some point either one of you may decide you would prefer to keep your options open and not date exclusively, it may be that you will find a common ground.

What other things do you have going on in your life? Maybe focus more in those areas as you continue to talk with her. Let her know that you understand her wanting to spend time with friends and things going on in school, but that you would like a little more time with her yourself.

She is experiencing time away from you, freedom and life that comes along with being 20.
She may very well still love you but she wants a life apart from you. Give her space and you do things with your life as well.
You may fine you do fine without her as well.

If it were me, I would give her space, maybe keep in touch once a week, and let her call me when she had time. But then, I would be having a life that I enjoyed, without her, and wouldn't freak out by being insecure, or needy, and confused.

Just make adjustments to the changes, and keep it real, and keep it fun. Then she will look forward to when she does hear from you, instead of a grilling from a needy guy.

The biggest mistake young, long distance couples face, is any change in the comfortable routine, they see as a threat, instead of an opportunity. Show love, and trust, and share happiness, so you stay connected, and leave that FEAR stuff alone.

Having something interesting to share with a partner is a matter of doing fun things without them, and sharing it with them, as you wait for their return. Trust me, That beats worrying about boogie men that only exist in your mind.

Keep it real fella, then you won't worry about the things you can't control (HER), and enjoy the things you can (YOU)!

Long distance relationships are hard. It seems as if she is noticing that this might not be for her. You need to discuss with her how the distance will end, she might be tired of it being there. Hope of being with each other is what keeps a relationship together in LDRs. Also, if he asks for space... Then give it to her!

Good luck,
Javi