Ask Me Help Desk - Unfair child support

11 years ago I had an affair with a married women she got pregnant and told both her husband and I that we were the father then after the child was born she told me to stay away that her husband was the father then when the child turned 2 she came to me and said I was the father and that the child needed health insurance so I put him on my insurance and tried being part of his life she was still married then when she didn't need the insurance anymore once again she claimed that her husband was the father and kept me away now the child is 11 yrs old and she is divorced her husband proved the kid not to be his during the divorce now I am being sued for child support a dna test proved for the first time that this kid is mine.the Michigan judge is telling me I have to pay $643 a month for 1 kid because his mother doesn't work and receives state aid and denied me joint custody so not only was I denied the first 11 years of my son's life I'm getting raped on child support and still being denied any rights. Basically Michigan is saying give the money your responsible for this kid but you have no rights in the way he is being raised how can anyone say this is right or even justify this decision I don't know what to do now can I appeal this judgement will it do any good to lower child supportand to get joint custody

Well your first mistake was accepting her word that you weren't the father. Your second mistake was putting him on your insurance without proof of paternity. That may have been illegal. Your third mistake was not going to court for custody and visitation if you wanted to part of the child's life.

This is probably why the court ruled as it did, since you made no visible attempt to be a part of the child's life for the first 11 years.

Did you have an attorney represent you in the support case? Did you ask for joint legal custody and visitation? If you did, what reason did the court give denying it?

And what did your attorney do or say, not up on Mich but many places if she was married and the husband was listed on the birth certificate, that is a defense from even owing support..

Next so you could not get joint ( normally you have to live in the same school district for an 11 year old to get joint custody)
But you can get weekends, additional days and more.

As for as support, so you pay 600 plus a month, that means you most likely make 2400 plus a month. Since it is normally based on a percent of your income

Just a little hint before you go forward or go to Court - stop referring to your son as the "kid."

You are not going to get custody of a child you admit that you are a perfect stranger to. Physical and legal custody are two different things, which was denied by the judge? You may ask for visitation, and I can't imagine why you wouldn't get it if your words on this situation are true. As mentioned, if you are paying that much in child support, it is because the state formula says you make enough to be able to afford it; its isn't a personal vendetta against you.

As a side note: You gave up your rights to complain about this when you had sex with a married women. When you choose who to have sex with, you have to be prepared to accept all possible consequences, and this is one of them. The result is that you not are obligated to support a child that you don't know. However, do not let your lack of a relationship stop you from meeting your obligations. A relationship with your child is a parental right, supporting them is a parental responsibility.

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoofer77

11 years ago i had an affair with a married women she got pregnant and told both her husband and I that we were the father then after the child was born she told me to stay away that her husband was the father then when the child turned 2 she came to me and said i was the father and that the child needed health insurance so i put him on my insurance and tried being part of his life she was still married then when she didn't need the insurance anymore once again she claimed that her husband was the father and kept me away now the child is 11 yrs old and she is divorced her husband proved the kid not to be his during the divorce now i am being sued for child support a dna test proved for the first time that this kid is mine.the michigan judge is telling me i have to pay $643 a month for 1 kid because his mother doesn't work and recieves state aid and denied me joint custody so not only was i denied the first 11 years of my son's life i'm getting raped on child support and still being denied any rights. basicly michigan is saying give the money ur responsible for this kid but you have no rights in the way he is being raised how can anyone say this is right or even justify this decision I don't know what to do now can i appeal this judgement will it do any good to lower child supportand to get joint custody

Here's my issue with this: how did you, nine years ago, get the child covered under your insurance policy without any proof that he belonged to you? Why did you insure a child that you weren't positive was yours?

As already mentioned, she cannot "deny" you anything - a judge can. Have you actually tried to obtain any visitation rights with the child or have you just been playing by her rules for the past 11 years? Just being ordered to pay support doesn't mean you'll be granted visitation rights to the child - YOU need to take the initiative and take the steps to make it happen.

Very sadly, it sounds as if you want custody of the child just to get out of having to pay child support - and that's your only reason. You knew 11 years ago that this might have been your child and ignored him; you were told 9 years ago that this might have been your child and ignored him; now that you have to pay child support, you suddenly want custody? If I'm wrong, then I apologize - I just find the statement "can i appeal this judgement will it do any good to lower child supportand to get joint custody" very hard to swallow.