Abusive relationship all along?
About a month ago, my girlfriend dumped me out of the blue and gave the no contact rule (this was my first no contact experience as all my other breakups were talked out so both parties would have closure). I spoke with her about a week later after she dumped me on the phone because I was desperate to understand why our relationship ended so abruptly. She still gave me nothing.
Anyway; I mailed her effects back to her a couple of weeks ago. I had also left a kitchen towel (part of a set) over at her house that I realized last week. The towel wouldn't matter at all to me; but it was a nice set that was a gift from my Grandma (the ex knows this). I sent an email earlier this week (first contact in almost a month) saying I hope she was doing well, asking if she received her items in the mail, and if she wouldn't mind sending me my towel if she had a free chance. I haven't heard anything back at all.
Now why would a grown woman act like that? It's like the no contact was this punishment for some awful crime I committed. I played by her rules of no contact for weeks; but is it normal for an adult to not respond when someone asks for their personal stuff back? The email was brief and there wasn't any type of notion to reconcile our relationship.
Also, a family friend that is in the medical field sent me an article after my mom told them about my breakup. It was about people who have BPD (borderline personality disorder). This article had 13 symptoms, and I immediately recognized 9 of the symptoms she had in our relationship. I also checked another link out related to how a person with BPD evolves through phases in a relationship; it was spot on regarding to what we went through (they move the relationship super fast, then it becomes all about them, then they become a "hater", the usually abruptly end a relationship because of their fear of abandonment).
Has anyone been in a relationship with a person that had BPD? I'm not a doctor but the symptoms were so in line with her behavior. I just find it hard to believe that confident, mature, and secure adults would act this way at the end and after the end of a relationship. Personally, I'm now trying to learn how to spot these type of people; so input would be much appreciated
Comment on Altenweg's post
I understand the no contact. It just makes me frustrated when you put so much effort into a relationship and after the end of it you get no respect. I've broken up with other ex's before; but I'm not about to ignore their existence without providing, at least, a simple request of their belongings back. I'd give them the time of day (unless it was some weird stalking behavior). I understand no contact for relationships that deserve it; but I guess I do not understand no contact for the end of a relationship that to me doesn't deserve that. I am beginning to believe that some forms of no contact can be used as a weapon. I appreciate your response though Alten. And just to make things clear; I am really asking about symptoms that could identify abusive relationships, or simply just experiences.
Comment on Altenweg's post
Thanks for reading my posts.. Okay will do that.. Thanks for your comment..