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-   -   Sleep overs - own room? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=576060)

  • May 12, 2011, 03:39 PM
    Ruthkearns
    Sleep overs - own room?
    I have a 10 year old girl - her father just moved in with a woman he just met several months ago. They do not have a bed room for her. She's been sleeping on the couch when she visits him. This woman also has a teen-age boy that lives with her half the time. Is this OK? Doesn't he need to have a proper place for her to stay over night?
  • May 12, 2011, 04:40 PM
    ScottGem

    Do you have any reason to believe there is anything improper going on? Have you taught your daughter about inappropriate touching and other behaviors?

    I think you are reaching and looking for a way to prevent the father from seeing his daughter.
  • May 13, 2011, 05:19 PM
    latashabrewingt

    If she don't have a problem sleeping on the couch then I don't think there is nothing wrong with it you shouldn't try 2 keep her away from him because of that.
  • May 14, 2011, 06:22 AM
    redhed35

    If there is no bedroom for your daughter where does the teenage boy sleep?

    Does he have a bedroom?
  • May 14, 2011, 07:12 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    No, for a weekend over night he does not have to provide her , a bedroom of her own. A couch or a air mattress in a room is fine.

    Is there other issues, or are you merely trying to find reasons to stop him from his visit.
  • May 15, 2011, 08:53 PM
    Invicta

    I think you are justified to be concerned that your young daughter is sleeping in what sound like compromising circumstances with a teen boy she barely knows from a family your husband barely knows himself.
    This is how kids get molested sometimes.
    You can always change this later when you and your daughter know these people better if you feel comfortable.
    But for now You are right to ask these questions.
    Sounds to me like Dad and his new girlfriend want their privacy, so instead of protecting your young daughter, and making her feel safe by giving her their bedroom, they're bunking her with a teenage boy. Totally inappropriate.
    Have you talked to Dad about the sleeping arrangements?
    If separate sleeping arrangements aren't available for your young child away from the teen boy, specifically in another room where she can close, and lock the door when they go to bed, then I would tell them that she can't go to her Dad's house when that teen boy is visiting, too. If her Dad doesn't like it, let him change the sleeping arrangements, or let him get a court order to change your decision. Your child is still your child, and often your discretion is the only thing between her and harm. If you don't trust your ex-spouse's judgment, use your own until ordered to do otherwise by a higher authority.
  • May 16, 2011, 03:42 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Invicta View Post
    I think you are justified to be concerned that your young daughter is sleeping in what sound like compromising circumstances with a teen boy she barely knows from a family your husband barely knows himself.

    And I disagree. I think you are making a lot of assumptions here based on very little information offered by the OP. We don't know where the boy sleeps, we don't know how old the boy is. We have no idea whether anything uncomfortable to the girl has occurred.

    I agree the OP needs to deal with this issue. But the way to deal with it is to educate her daughter and monitor the situation. There is NO need to panic or to cause friction between the parties by making insinuations. The fact is that, while molesters do exist, they are a minority. And to make the assumption that molestation might occur because her daughter has to sleep on the couch with a teenage boy in the apartment is a stretch. Remember this is the girl's father. He presumably loves her and will try not to compromise her safety.

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