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-   -   How can I tell if I should move on or not from an Ex boyfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=575665)

  • May 10, 2011, 04:10 PM
    AyameSweetheart
    How can I tell if I should move on or not from an Ex boyfriend?
    OK. So my ex and I were together for almost an year. I broke up with him because I started having feelings for someone else and I did not want to cheat on him. I started dating the other guy, then three months later my ex started to see someone. I got really jealous and broke it off with my current boyfriend and tried and win my ex over. Now he is dating another girl. We are still friends and we still believe that we are soul mates for each other. Originally it was my idea to break up so we can grow and then come back to each other. Now all I can think about is being with him. I'm scared to take any steps without him. He wants to be with me too(so he says) but wants to figure what it is that he feels for this other girl. What should I do? I still really want to be with this guy, please someone help me!
  • May 10, 2011, 05:08 PM
    ironhide262
    Just how old are the both of you?

    When you breakup with someone it should be for good. Happy couples don't breakup in order to get back together again... they work on problems.. that's how relationships grow.

    Quote:

    Originally it was my idea to break up so we can grow and then come back to each other
    How exactly were you expecting to grow and get back to your ex while involved with another guy(the guy you had feelings for and broke up your original relationship for)? // What was your plan here... to keep them both on the hook?

    But, now it sounds like your first ex has turned the tables and has you as his backup plan. But, hey, he's involved with another girl... that makes him off limits no? If he really wanted to be with you he would!

    Honestly girl, get a grip here... you're running around letting your feeling dictate your actions without any consideration of the implications to yourself or anyone else. Not your original ex, his current girlfriend or the guy you just dumped.

    First understand and respect the fact that your original ex has a girlfriend... he's off limits. Secondly, accept the fact that you broke up, once it's done, it's done... go No Contact. Third, learn from all of this, figure out what you want in a guy and a relationship.
  • May 10, 2011, 11:35 PM
    amicon

    Drama!

    If you break up with people and they start dating somebody else,they're off limits.

    Go no contact, leave the exes in the past and move on.
  • May 11, 2011, 06:03 AM
    mmresd
    You ex has a girlfriend now, and is therefore off-limits to you. Respect him, and respect his relationship. If his relationship was to end, then maybe you can try to reach him then, but don't be pressuring to break it off with his current girl just because you are "ready" to go out with him again. Also, if you break up with someone, then it is forever, if you still had feelings for him then you should have though about what you were doing a little more. You have made your own bed, now sleep in it.

    Good Luck,
    Javi
  • May 11, 2011, 06:36 AM
    kcomissiong
    You played a game and dumped him so he would realize what he lost. In games, there are always winners and losers, and you lost. You decided to play a childish game with him instead of showing your maturity and working on your relationship, and he decided to get on with his life. Even worse, you decided to pop back in on him because you were jealous (You can be happy with someone else, but he can't?)If you truly ever had feelings for him, you would keep yourself and your manipulative behavior away from him, and allow him to move on with someone who thinks of his feelings and not just their own.
  • May 11, 2011, 06:43 AM
    BMI

    No sympathy here, that's for sure.

    You say that breaking up with him was a plan you had in order to strengthen the relationship? Silly me, here I thought it was because you said you liked, and began dating, another GUY! Rememeber him?

    You break-up with him for another guy and when he starts dating another girl you get jealous? Please.

    Perhaps consider how he felt when he found out you broke-up with him and learned it was for another guy. Perhaps consider how he felt when he perhaps saw the two of you together. Perhaps consider how you most probably didn't care when things with dude B were so wonderful. Finally, consider how awful it is for you to even dare jeopardize his new relationship because of your own doing and jealousy, filling his head with ex-girlfriend noise and the very sickening 'soul mate/together forever/dropped you for another guy on purpose so that our love would be even more unbreakable when I return' garbage.
  • May 11, 2011, 07:48 AM
    kcomissiong
    Comment on BMI's post
    If I could give you more than one greenie, I would... this is completely on point.
  • May 11, 2011, 12:40 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    QUOTE by AyameSweetheart;
    OK. So my ex and I were together for almost an year. I broke up with him because I started having feelings for someone else and I did not want to cheat on him. I started dating the other guy, then three months later my ex started to see someone.
    So what, it had been 3 months, and he finally moved on. You moved on 3 months before he did, so you both were doing your thing, and glad you broke up instead of cheated.

    Quote:

    I got really jealous and broke it off with my current boyfriend and tried and win my ex over. Now he is dating another girl. We are still friends and we still believe that we are soul mates for each other.
    That's a lie your jealous mind is telling you. This started because he got another girlfriend, after 3 MONTHS of you doing your thing with another guy.

    Quote:

    Originally it was my idea to break up so we can grow and then come back to each other.
    That's another lie! Read why you really broke up, because you found something you thought was better, and went for it, and even enjoyed it for 3 months. You didn't care what the ex was doing until he found some one himself.

    Quote:

    Now all I can think about is being with him. I'm scared to take any steps without him. He wants to be with me too(so he says) but wants to figure what it is that he feels for this other girl.
    He is probably playing a game with you, the same way you played with him. Why should he dump his new partner for someone that dumped him for someone else? That would be dumb.

    Quote:

    What should I do? I still really want to be with this guy, please someone help me!
    You should leave him alone, and keep your dignity and self respect by stop lying to yourself, and justifying your selfish, immature actions.

    All you have to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself, and change your behavior, and get real. You played a game with everyone's feelings, and now the game is playing with yours. Quit playing the games with the feelings of others because you are selfish, and only care about yourself, and that's why you end up ALONE, and begging.

    Sorry, no sympathy without some drastic changes by YOU!!
  • May 22, 2012, 01:45 PM
    mandii140
    Umm I believe that true love finds its way bac if its meant to be

    My cousin is happily married for 3 years now and she broke up with her husband then boyfriend more than we can count but they always end up back together. Sometimes we ave to learn the hard way that playing with sumones feeling only hurts you in d long run. I suggest you move on for now and if he finds his way bac to you then grab it and hold on.

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