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My boyfriend and I are getting married in June, and he would like to sign his rights over to his ex wife. His daughter is eleven and he has not been able to see her since she was two, due to his ex wife. This is something that we have talked about and seems like we have no other choice. He has paid his child support and everything but we are still un able to see her. So he would like to terminate his rights and we are wondering what papers we would need.
The ONLY papers that will allow him to voluntarily relinquish his rights are ADOPTION papers filed by his ex-wife and her new husband.
You don't get to "sign away rights" to get out of child support. Sorry--I feel NO sympathy for anyone that even THINKS that. This isn't a puppy--it's a CHILD! He has a RESPONSIBILITY to help take care of her financial needs.
And visitation and child support have NOTHING to do with one another. For that matter, parental rights and parental obligations (child support) are not linked, either. Even if he COULD give up his parental rights, he would STILL pay child support.
If he wants to see his child, then he either needs to FILE for visitation through the COURTS, or he needs to get the CURRENT visitation order ENFORCED.
So---sorry. He doesn't get to just walk away from his daughter because he doesn't want to be a daddy anymore. The TAXPAYERS don't want to pay for her upkeep, either, and that's what generally happens when a child is supported by only one parent.
So if the argument is that you don't WANT to pay, the answer is "tough".
If the argument is that he doesn't see her--the answer is "He needs to step up and get a visitation order and get it enforced".
The answer is NOT that he gets to get out of paying child support--UNLESS he ex-wife's new husband is willing to adopt his daughter.
Synnen is correct. If he never laid eyes on the child in LIFE, he would still have the obligation to support her. That came with birth and is not dependent on a relationship. A court would never terminate parental rights simply because a parent no longer wishes to pay support. As previously stated, the only way a court would allow him to voluntarily terminate this rights would be to clear the way for a stepparent adoption. If, for some reason, his rights were involuntarily terminated (and there is no reason for this in this particular case)he would still be obligated to pay support.
However, it seems very much like he has not bothered to exercise his parental rights with this child and now wants to wash his hands of the whole thing. The law does not work that way. If he is paying support, he knows the address of the mother, and can pursue visitation through the courts. He could have her jailed for violating the visitation order. He could use her parental interference to ask for a greater custody allowance, or to petition for sole custody. But, for any of these options would require him to bother to take some initiative about visitation and his relationship with his child. It is already pretty sad that he thinks that he can dispose of a child that he fathered, and equally disconcerting that you would support him in a quest to do so.
We HAVE tried to see his daughter! We even drove all the way to Texas from South Dakota only to be blocked by his ex wife who does not want us to see her. We have been to court to try and see her and all they do is serve her papers saying that she is at fault and nothing happens. He has no propblem paying support and has done so for the past eleven years. What he does have a propblem with is not being able to have a part in the life of his child. And since she is refusing to let us do that and he have used all our extra money to try and see his daughter after talking with a Social Workers, Terminating his rights is what he has decided would be the best option. Has nothing to do with paying or not paying support.
His ex wife is not married or planning on getting married and as I stated before it is not that he don't want to be a father but that we have tried everything to see her and still have been un able. We have been to court and still nothing. And We know there are papers because we were advised by a social worker that given the situation it would be the best route. They are called Reliqushing of parental rights. And we have documentaion of all court filings and trips to Texas from South Dakota to see her. Only when we get there they are gone to Chicago to see her family or somewhere else even through we plan this months in advnce.
I would just like to know where to find these papers and if we need to file in Texas or South Dakota.
Hello At:Quote:
Originally Posted by AtOurEnd
If the visit was court ordered, then the local police WOULD have helped you excercize your rights. Because you don't know how to do that, is NOT a reason to abandon your/his daughter...
In fact, if he had court ordered visitation, he could have STOPPED her from moving out of state, if that's what happened...
But, that's all moot.. You CAN'T terminate your rights and there is NO form.
excon
Please use the answer option for follow ups and not the comments.. its less confusing that way.
His motives do not change the answer... he CANNOT terminate his rights. Period. Unless the mother has remarried and would like her husband to adopt, there is nothing that can be done on that front. However, if he would like to see the child, there are several options he can pursue that he obviously has not done, like filing for shared or sole custody, and providing evidence of parental interference at the hearing. Him not seeing the child does not remove the child's need to eat every day, and his lack of a relationship does not have ANYTHING to do with his obligation to support the child he fathered.
I don't know what social worker you talked to but if they told you his rights could be terminated, it is simply a flat out LIE. A social worker is not a judge. A social worker cannot make a determination about custody, parental rights, or visitation. If he wants to see his child, he needs to see a judge instead of taking the easy way out. He has many options, especially given that he knows that location of both the parent and child. If you want information that can be helpful, research those options.
Oh there's a form---it's called "Relinquishment of Parental Rights". It's given in COURT, and it's part of ADOPTION proceedings.
As stated before--even if he CAN relinquish his parental rights, he's STILL going to pay child support. And NO COURT is going to terminate parental rights so that he doesn't have to support his child.
If he cared, he'd still pay to support her even if he couldn't see her. That's called "being a parent".
If he wants visitation rights, he goes to court, he spends the money, and he fights tooth and nail to get them and have them enforced. If he's not willing to do that, then his ex wins, and he STILL pays child support.
It does not MATTER that a social worker essentially lied to you---He is going to pay child support for as long as the support order says he's going to.
There is NO WAY to get out of child support EXCEPT adoption.
If an adoption won't happen, then you'd better plan on making those payments every month.
PS--if you REALLY think you can do this, you'll need a lawyer. A REALLY REALLY good lawyer.
One with no conscience, who has no problem screwing a little girl out of the money she is supposed to get from her parent to be able to live a decent life. You know--someone kind of like you.
P.P.S. - The taxpayers don't want to support other peoples' kids. Child support is a way to make people be RESPONSIBLE for the lives they bring into this world. Your boyfriend should man up and remember that--he CREATED this little girl. He has an OBLIGATION to support her.
OK, to be clear, he can not just "give up his rights" and even if he did, without an adoption he would still have to pay support.
If men ( or women) could just file some form to give up their rights not to have to pay child support, there would be a line a mile long and no one in jail for failure to pay support.
The trouble here is that he has to keep filing in court for visits and for her to be in contempt of court for not doing it. Perhaps file for a change in support where ex has to pay 1/2 or all of the transport for the child to visit.
I will say this in TEXAS, no the police will not enforce a visitation order in fact they will arrest the parent who is trying to visit for tresspass if they will not leave the ex's property. *** been there , and done that myself.
You don't sign your children away, you can refuse visitation but that is about it. Tell him to step up and pay the child support his kids probably need!
Wow, what kind of man would abandon his child? If I were you I would be afraid he would do the same thing to me. Not once have you stated he went to court about his visitation rights. I would never want to have kids with or be with a man that would give up his rights just to be free of child support. Wow, when his child becomes an adult and comes looking for him. What will he tell his child? I gave up my rights to support you cause I could not see you. If he is a true man he will support his kid regardless of seeing her. My father walked away from my mom and me when I was a baby. I never saw him again until I was 23. Through out my entire childhood he paid child support. As an adult I found him. I ask him why he left said he couldn't handle being a parent. He told me he felt obligated to support me because he brought me in this world. I respect that he couldn't handle being a parent. I respect him even more because he supported me.
First, please read the thread more carefully. You missed this:Quote:
Originally Posted by yoljudy
Second, this is a law forum and, as such, answers here need to conform to statutory law. Your answer doesn'tQuote:
Originally Posted by AtOurEnd
To AtOurEnd
As you have been told your husband can't give up his rights. Only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so.
But frankly, I don't think he has done enough to see the child. If he has a court order for visitation, and she refused to turn the child over, then he needed to go to the police and see if they will come with him to enforce the order. Or he needed to press the courts to hold her in contempt of court and put her in jail for defying the court.
But I'm afraid its probably too late. At 11 her mind has probably been too poisoned for him to still establish a relationship with her. Doesn't mean he shouldn't keep trying.
Maybe, when she's old enough he will be able to contact her, show her the court orders allowing him visitation and how her mother would not allow it.
As far as support is concerned, that's not going to stop unless someone adopts her.
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