Well guys, its been awhile since my last post and this may be the last one for me for awhile unless you find me rifting around for the hell of it. Anyway, when I first got on this site I was a wreck. Dumped, left, abandoned, and hurt. You can read into my history if you want. But this site helped me and I need to help some of you. Anyway, I got dumped, an interesting story, I spent a month begging, pleading, whatever you want to call it, to get the ex back starting in early December. I'd go a little while with no contact, get drunk and beg back. Well the day before new years I got plastered and decided at 4:30 in the am to check the ex's myspace and was completely shocked. So how about a 4:45 am call to the ex saying that I was driving to Indiana from Alabama to win her back! Thankfully a friend talked me out of it and she called me at like 6:30 am to talk me out of it. Still drunk and very upset I again got the message to don't bother. I told you guys this was going to be a long one. Well I woke up the next day and went through about 24 hours of embarrassment and decided to call the ex sober on Jan 2nd and we talked, and she again said she wouldn't reconsider, and that she wasn't going to call me because all I would want to talk about was getting back together but I could call her if I wanted. I said I wouldn't talk about the relationship anymore and she said yea right. Well I think that was my turning point. I didn't call... for weeks, and this was a girl who hadn't gone longer than a week from hearing from me. Well I guess about the 17th or 18th I found our camera under the seat of my car, and this weighed on my conscious for a day or two. Still thinking of wildcat telling me no contact no matter what. So I decided not to call, but I got to thinking, you know the only time this girl hears from me these days is when I'm a drunken sorry excuse for a man begging her back and I decided that I owed myself a little better than that and I knew time had passed and I was now much stronger. Well I called her Friday afternoon and after ringing for an eternity she finally answered and I could tell she was surprised. We had a good talk and I didn't drop the guard at all just played it smooth laughing and cutting up and told her to text me her address and I would send her the pictures. I made sure I ended the conversation. Anyway, she texted it to me a few hours later, I mailed them and didn't let her cross my mind for a few days. Well Tuesday I get a call and a voicemail from her saying she got the pictures and they reminded her of how happy she was with me, and part of me felt relieved, and part of me felt a little vindicated. I guess at this point I realized what had taken place over the last months and how much hurt I had been put through and whether I would respect myself if I took her back. My conclusion was a resounding NO! We talked earlier tonight and she apologized and wanted a second chance and I told her that was not the road I wanted to go down. I spent months beating myself up over this woman but it only took me two days to realize that I now had an option and what the smart option for me would be! I still love her but I'm not going to sell myself short. Now this is where you guys come into play. If someone had told me 3 weeks ago I would have a chance to get my ex back down the road I would listen like hell. But until you start having enough respect for yourself not too want them back, they probably won't want you, and when you do, you won't want them. I know the ex is the greatest thing to have ever lived, the most perfect specimen on the planet, that is better than anyone else out there, but if that's true, then you didn't deserve to be with them anyway. In the last 25 days I wouldn't say that I fell out of love, but I will say that I found people that made me feel good about myself, and I started going out again. A little pride never hurts when you are doing your own self evalution about your true worth! I hope this helps some. This site rocks!
