So I am 25 and she is 23. We have been together for almost 3 years. Over the last couple of weeks I noticed that she wasn't OK, so I asked her and that's when she dropped the bomb. She said that she is starting to see that we may not be right for each other and we don't really share the same interests, i.e. certain movies, places to go, etc... (at this point I thought.. well.. we can work on something like that.. that's so trivial.. )
Later in that conversation she said that maybe in the future after a break we can be good together but not now... soooooo here is the thing: I work overseas/away from home for most of the year. She knew that before we started dating and insisted on staying together when I suggested back then that we break things off ( first couple of months of the relationship... would've been easier.. ).
Her parents live around here and her school friends too, and she works a lot, so she can handle her time away from me..
But , my thing is, if I'm gone 3 or 4 months at a time (then back for 2-4 weeks), wouldn't that count as a break? Like, she can do or go to the places she likes to go and I usually have no issue with that.
When I am gone, sometimes I go 2 or 3 days without calling her, and she understands that..
I never really smothered her... she stated in that conversation that she have been working on bridging our differences for a while, but she couldn't
But, we are not really that different, it's just that when I am home I usually want to relax and can't go to clubs or bars or whatever as often as she wants..
.. so when she's asking for a break, this is only code for wanting to see someone else maybe?

Why is it that any time someone wants to break up, we automatically think its another person? This is not the case I'm sure and most of the time it is not the case!

She saying she wants a break in code for, she doesn't want to be with you anymore. She's just trying to soften the blow. She doesn't feel you are right together and you must accept that. Don't go looking for something or someone to blame because chances are you will find nothing.

Just give her what she wants and be happy with the memories, not every relationship will work and this is one of them. The next one might :)

Well she came around and said that she wants to work on things (within the same conversation) but that's not going to go anywhere.
At this point I am just thinking about packing up everything and leaving... if she made her mind up then there isn't much I could or should do... just wanted to make sure I am not overreacting to whatever she said (and she never really wanted to say it, I am the one that asked.. )

She is trying to be honest with you and do this in a mature way. I know you had to ask before she'd tell you but obviously she had been thinking about it and didn't know how to approach it and she clearly didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Try not be mad at her, I know it hurts, but at least this can be settled in a nice way, rather than hateful, which would hurt a lot more.

Ever think that the months away don't equal to the weeks together? Maybe she wants a more than a few weeks after a few months. It happens and you have to accept she tried, but didn't like it any more. I mean how long was she supposed to drift around your schedule with no clear defined goals to look for?

See it from her view, and understand it. Of course you see as she does that this is going no where fast, and 3 years was enough.

Asking for a break is code for breaking up-it's not doing it for her anymore-sorry,but it's time to move on!

Talan hit it right on the spot. It is a hard life to live with someone who is gone all the time, and from what you put on here it sounds like distance has become an issue. She likes you enough not to want to hurt you, and that is a good thing. From the information you gave she sounds like she is a good person.

You mentioned that she said, "that maybe in the future after a break we can be good together but not now...."

Unfortunately, I think it is your work life that has created this division. I think the break will be good because it will let her organize her thoughts and decide how she really feels about you. End it peacefully and maybe when you are ready to settle down you can start something permanent with her.

Thanks you all

So, I was about to leave last week, and she said that she wants to work things out.
Things are going well, but I can still tell that things aren't the same anymore..
The phone doesn't leave her hands, she spends a lot of time deleting messages, etc...
Should I just leave anyway and cut the loses?

Sounds to me that it's not just her who's hesitating, but you're considering breaking up even if she wants to work at it.

It doesn't seem like you know what you want at this point. First off, regardless of how much effort she wants to put in, what exactly do YOU want?

Me hesitating? No no, only when she saw me packing to leave did she say that she wants to work on it... but it doesn't look like she is working on it...
She is a human.. just the idea of losing something or someone can make her want it more... or only because she didn't want to end three years this way... I really don't know

I want this to work, but if she's only saying that she wants it to work but still acting distant, then it is doomed to end

Regarding the effort she is putting in it, it is almost none.. her conversations are brief, she gets angry quick, then says at the end of the day that she loves and wants to work things out..

The fact that you were packing to go gives us the impression that you're ready to walk out on this relationship. But at the same time, you say that you want to work it out. It's not easy to work on problems when you have one foot out the door.

Either keep both feet in the door and work on one problem at the time with progress every day. Or, just walk out the door completely. Regardless of her poor showing, if you want to make this work, then you need to give her some security and show that you're here to stay and not packing to go (emotionally).

Same goes for her. She's either fully committed or not.

If you cannot talk honestly, nothing gets resolved, and resentments build. Sit her down and talk about what's going on and either get reconnected, or separate.