I'm Really shy and quiet and I have bad anxiety.. and I'm 15
I'm going to try to explain this the best I can if I don't make any sense I'm sorry, I don't know if its because I got teased picked on and made fun of when I was a kid "still do" but I'm really antisocial its very hard for me to talk to someone its like I think in the back of my mind that there going to judge me and make fun of me if I talk to them so I hold back, a lot of people talk to me don't get me wrong but I'm still super quiet its like there's no breaking the ice specialy when my sisters are there with me... I don't know its like there so loud obnoxious and talking and laughing that I barley get 1 word in this been going on since as long as I can remember,and its not just my sisters its my cousins and friends block me out when I talk to! Its like I try to get 1 word in and they cut me off as if they don't want to hear what I have to say? So that just makes me more quiet? I don't know.. I try to be social and talk but I'm so awkward and I never find something to bring up to talk about?. oh and here's another thing.. if its just me and you talking I'm not shy but if there's more then 2 people I'm really quiet WHY IS THAT? I try to control it sometimes but it always wins and gets the best of me *** :( oh and my VERY BAD Anxiety make it harder for me to be myself sometimes.. I start shaking and I feel this I don't know its hard to explain a weird feeling almost like a depressing feeling? Its this feeling like I shouldn't even bother to talk cause no ones going to listen anyway and I make my own self feel bad there's always this thought nagging at the back of my brain making me feel like I can't enjoy anything unless I solve this problem, but I don't even know what the problem is! Only people who have suffered from anxiety will know what Im talking about. I really want to be happy and positive but there is just something in my mind holding me back, its like a parasite! I can't get rid of it. Im always worrying about what people might think of me and my shyness I just have this weird feeling all the time, Its kind of like depression I guess, Its kind of like Im just waiting for something bad to happen to me, I feel like by worrying about it, it will keep it from happening. I don't know how to explain the feeling of anxiety, its like a feeling of hopelessness. I hate it because I see all these happy free spirited people around me enjoying life and I just can't do it, the stupid worries won't leave my brain no matter what I do. I get the worst anxiety at night time, when Im in my room getting ready for bed, like right now.. .
K I hope I made that clear enough? If you don't understand I'm pretty much asking you help for my antisocialness and my bad anxiety lol thank yous for taken the time out of your day to read this and thank you for commenting GOD BLESS YOU!! Ps if your wondering I'm 15 and my anxiety and shyness got worster cause I like a guy..
Comment on Goldenwolf's post
I Never thought of it like that Thank you so much lol I'm 100% myself with the guy I like but like when I'm not I seen that my anxiety and shyness around people got worst I have no idea how?. well anyway thank you =]
Comment on SuziRider's post
Wow thank you so much for your Help and understanding what I was trying to say I'm going to try that soon as I get the chance =D