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-   -   Why do men always have to do the asking? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=57357)

  • Jan 25, 2007, 10:30 AM
    PatBateman
    Why do men always have to do the asking?
    How often do women ask guys out on dates? Seems like guys always have to ask/make the move and do the follow ups... lol. Not complaining... just wondering.
  • Jan 25, 2007, 10:42 AM
    BlazingCold
    I guess it's one of those social norms. Men are just expected to make the first move, even if the woman is head over heels for the guy. I used to think that way, waiting for the woman to make the first move. Sadly, society doesn't usually work that way.
  • Jan 25, 2007, 10:44 AM
    Geoffersonairplane
    It has happened to me before where the woman has made the first move but I agree with Blaze that there is a thing in society which says a man should make then first move. I don't think it really matters, if you like someone, life is too short to wait for them to make the first move.
  • Jan 25, 2007, 10:46 AM
    Synnen
    The only reason I stopped making the first move (back when I was dating) is that I would be turned down for being so forward. Guys were turned off by the idea of a woman who would ask THEM!

    Granted, that was over 10 years ago, so maybe guys' attitudes have changed since then!
  • Jan 25, 2007, 11:00 AM
    Tuscany
    While it is more common now then in days past I think that women asking men out is still not the norm because women are afraid of being to forward and giving the guy the wrong impression. Also, women are creatures of emotion. It is a lot easier to do the turning down, then to be turned down.
  • Jan 25, 2007, 12:01 PM
    PatBateman
    Well it's defitely a lot better nowadays, but it's still frustrating when the girl does nothing but say "yes" when asked. It'd be a little more comforting to have "her" ask because you won't have to second guess yourself all the time.

    Just the other night, I met up with this girl and we had a great time. Chances are, she's NOT going to ask me for a second date, but rather I'm going to have to ask her out again. You'd think if a girl liked you she'd ask, but no sir-ee.
  • Jan 26, 2007, 02:18 AM
    rol
    <<You'd think if a girl liked you she'd ask, but no sir-ee.>>

    Well... if you like her you pursue! Men are the pursuer.
    You may think you would like a girl to ask you out but no, that would make you would lose attraction! Listen to what she told you, did she make any hints about things she likes to do? Music, hobbies etc.
    Try and find something different and connected to her interests for the next date.
  • Jan 26, 2007, 02:42 AM
    Capuchin
    I believe that this practice probably stems back from chivalry or courtly love. It's probably something like the woman is supposed to remain pure and to not have thoughts about men until one proves themselves to her.
    Just nowadays we don't prove ourselves by slaying dragons, we just have a nice meal.
  • Jan 26, 2007, 03:05 AM
    rol
    I believe women should always keep one step behind a man!! How are you going to feel if she starts asking you on dates etc, you will lose attraction eventually for sure!

    Maybe you are seeing other girls from the site also,or more importantly not ready for a new relationship!! (ohh wait now , could that be perhaps the reason why you want her to ask you on a date? ) how can she be sure?

    So the only way to see if you are interested and not just looking for one thing is if you call and ask her on a date.
  • Jan 26, 2007, 03:35 AM
    Allheart
    Pat,

    Would you prefer to be the one staring at the phone that never rings, :eek: hmmmm

    The balls in your court. That's not such a bad thing. At least You know whether you will be calling, she has no idea.

    Enjoy that "power" Pat. It ends there... LOL
  • Jan 26, 2007, 03:36 AM
    rol
    Ha ha haaaaaaaaa
  • Jan 28, 2007, 10:08 AM
    talaniman
    There are a lot of females that have no problem asking you out.
  • Jan 28, 2007, 10:31 AM
    chippers
    If I asked a guy out , I got a funny look from them. (I'm not drop dead gorgous but I'm not the head of medusa either) I think men get taken aback when we ask them out. It's like we're invading their mating rites by asking them
    It takes a strong woman to ask a man out. She's confident and knows what she wants.
    Some men see a woman asking them out as 1. an act of desparation on our part.
    Or 2. were incroaching on their thing.or 3. were fast women.
    As for calling a man, women sometimes are thought to be desperate and clinging. LIke "oh God, we went on one date and shes. calling already" forget the fact we're only calling to tell you thank you for such a nice time. Or thanks but no thanks.
    How many times do we hear from men after a date, I'll call you and it never comes.
    When I dated the man I married and he said I'll call you, I said my answering machine will be waiting while I went on with my life turns out he called the next day.
    Its not so much why do men have to preform all the mating and dating rites, but why we can't. Women as well asmen know what they want and often know how to get it. It's just old beliefs that keep popping up on occaisions.
    A women stand on the same footing with men. We date, we love, we work, we marry. In this day and age, it shouldn't matter who asks who out but the karma surrounding them should.

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