I have a question. Me and my GF have been dating for about 8-9 months now, and we have sex, a lot. She is 23 and I am 25, but we are both inexperienced.

She was a virgin, until I took it, and I had only slept with two people before her. Now her and I have a question.

She is on the pill, and she takes it everyday at the same time, 11PM. She needs it for medical reasons, not just sex.

Well we have been having sex without a condom for the most part because she is on the pill, but I never finish inside her, I always pull out. SHe was wondering if it was safe or a good idea to *** inside her from now on, or at least once a month or so.

Her and I are inexperienced and would like others opinion on this.

I got pregnant using the birth control pill, a condom, and a spermicide.

I recommend you continue to use the condoms.

Theoretically you should be safe to have sex without a condom if she is on birthcontrol. You're still playing a game of chance but the odds are stacked in your favour.

People have been known to get pregnant while on the pill, while using condoms, and using other forms of birthcontrol. How safe do you want to be? Have you talked about what would happen if she did get pregnant?

If you both want to do this you should be safe, but keep the thought that her pill might fail in the back of your head. Are you ready to be a father now?

Also something not mentioned... effectiveness of the pill varies... certain antibiotics can render it ineffective... and that's assuming she never forgets to take it.

But the best advice is what Synnen just told you. Read that again and memorize it. It happened to her... and it can happen you your girlfriend. She isn't alone on this board for having gotten pregnant despite multiple forms of birth control being taken correctly.

It's funny cause your story sounds so similar to mine! Even the ages!

Back to the topic: What smoothy and Synnen say is true. I have heard about stories where people have gotten pregnant even though they used protection. However, if your girlfriend takes the pill every day at the same time, she doesn't throw up or has diarrhea during the 4 hours after she takes it, and doesn't take any antibiotics (whose effect might last for more than a week, even a month) then there's 0.01% that she gets pregnant. Are you willing to take that chance? It's not zero, but lets face it, you guys will have to be VERY 'lucky' if she gets pregnant.

Pulling out is NOT a contraceptive method, because your pre sperm contains sperms. Not a million, but a few thousands, and it only takes one sperm to get your girlfriend pregnant. So, the way I see it, if you don't use a condom, you might as well come inside her. If it's meant to be, it'll happen even if you pull out.

You two just need to talk about it openly, and even mention what you would do if she did get pregnant. If you are willing to take the very small risk I mentioned, then have sex without a condom. Lots of people do it and they don't have problems. But then again, others do...

I'm not a very experienced person on these subjects but I know that if I took my pill even 2 hours later, I will ask my boyfriend to use a condom. We also use a condom during the first days after the pill 'break'. That's when a woman might ovulate-during those 7 days when she doesn't take the pill. It's very rare, but it could happen.

Just on a sidenote: did you get tested for STDs? It's important... you never know.

SOrry for the late response. For STDs, her and I are both clean, we've been tested. THe thing is, neither of us wants to be parents, but she is also curious as to seeing what its like to have a man *** inside her, and so am I.

We talked about what would happen if she did get pregnant. Abortion came up, as did adoption, but she just doesn't know. When it comes to serious topics like this her mind tends to wander and she tries to avoid them.

For abortion, she is willing if its in the first month or so, where its still a bunch of cells. And she is willing to take pregnancy tests every month that I do *** insdie her, if we ever do. We haven/t really had this talk for any length, as like I said, her mind wanders and she avoids them.

Sounds all well and good now... but getting an abortion isn't like tossing out old underwear. And once she concieves... its not going to be so hypothetical to her any more. It's a baby and its part of her... 99.9% of the women will not simply view it as a zit that needs squeezed at that point.

And its something she will be living with the rest of her life. You won't have that same burden.

She NEEDS to think about it. Not that what she decides now will be how she feels when it actually happens--it's amazing how your mind changes when it's "real". But if she won't even think about it seriously, then keep the condom on.

And yeah--that whole "okay within the first month" thing? You don't even KNOW you're pregnant until you're a minimum of 2 weeks along, and some women don't get a positive pregnancy test until much further along than that. So... that's a stupid backup plan.

And adoption? To make that decision and stand by it takes a stronger person than your girlfriend seems to be, if she can't think about a hypothetical situation seriously. I've had some seriously hard choices in my life, but NOTHING compares to the pain and heartache of not only MAKING the decision to place my child for adoption, but to LIVE with that decision.

If your girlfriend can't think seriously about the possibility of getting pregnant, she won't think seriously about her options once she IS pregnant, either--and you'll both be raising a child, ready or not.

No one knows how they will react when it happens to them. Women that are 100% against abortions actually do them when it's them that is pregnant. I can't be too harsh on your girlfriend, her mind 'wanders' because she's probably too scared to think about the possibility and also because she simply doesn't know how she will react. I'm the same.

Since you're already sleeping without a condom, your risks are already higher. Remember, even if you don't come inside her, the 'pull-out' method has a 40% percent risk of failure. I just found out that a very good friend of mine is pregnant after using that method. Heck, it's not a method. Unplanned pregnancies are not great but the least you two can do is talk about it seriously, and make sure that in case it happens you will be there for each other, and especially you will be there for her. As smoothy very well pointed it out, she's the one that's going to have to take some major decisions.

And just to add something: You said you wanted to see what it's like to come inside her. Well, I'm not sure if it's better for you, but for a woman, it really doesn't feel any differently. So if you want to do it, just put a condom, since it makes not difference to the woman ( at least not to me).

Hello Lord:

Most of the advice you've been given is premised on the possibility that the pill might not work.. IF it doesn't, then it's very good advice...

However, although I don't have numbers to back me up, I would guess that the pill WORKS in the MAJORITY of cases, and MY advice is based on that premise...

Come IN her, Dude! Having to think about it, and then pull out at the very moment you should be stroking deeply has GOT to ruin it. Look. Do it to her right now, and report back.

excon

/shrug...

There's a special word for people who use the pull-out method as their only birth control.

That word is "parents"

Pulling out is really not a method, ( at least a good method) it merely reduces the amount of sperm, not stops it.

Best bet, pill and condom

I've heard that the polyurethane condoms that trojan feels like there's nothing there.

Just a thought.

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excon finds this helpful : to a girl, maybe...

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Well, my source is a guy. But, he may have been comparing it to latex instead of "the real thing" :)

If you are not ready to be a parent you shouldn't be having sex.

Nothing is 100% reliable expect abstaining from vaginal intercourse.

With what you are doing now , I'm with Ex... you might as well because the increase in the odds of getting her pregnant are not as extreme as most imagine them to be.

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Originally Posted by martinizing2

If you are not ready to be a parent you shouldn't be having sex.

Nothing is 100% reliable expect abstaining from vaginal intercourse.

With what you are doing now , I'm with Ex ...you might as well because the increase in the odds of getting her pregnant are not as extreme as most imagine them to be.

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However Murphy's Law does apply here. Those who least want to get pregnant will, and those actively trying will have the hardest time.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to smoothy again.

Sad but true