I am on Probation in NJ for a petty disorderly person's offense. The Judge ordered 1 year probation, but agreed & wrote on the Court Order that I can be released after 6 months if the P.O. agrees. My 6 months was up the beginning of April, 2011, and P/O is waiting to hear back from the Judge for confirmation to be released early. I see her in the beginning of May to get confirmation of early release.

However, because I choose not to have a relationship with my mother, who is a LCSW, she has recently made a complaint of neglect of my child, among other things, to NJ DYFS. They visited my son in school and me just this week. Please note that my mother has done this in the past and her allegations were formally noted as "unfounded" and my case was closed November, 2010.

Am I in violation of Probation because an annonymous complaint has been made against me to DYFS along with a complaint against the Caseworker herself claiming that she did not do her job on the 1st complaint back 2010... both complaints have been filed by my mother who needs psychological help.

Do I need to call my P/O and advise her of this complaint against me or can I tell her at our next meeting? If I am in violation of probation, what are the reprecussions?

If the complaint is unfounded you are not in violation - you cannot control what other people do.

I would tell your PO - it's always better to hear the news from you rather than someone else.

Thank you for your quick reply. I guess I will call P/O after the holiday and advise her. I just cannot believe that my own mother would do this to me, a single mom! I have not seen my mother in over 5 years. Q: Will I have to remain on probation until the DFYS Agency makes a final determination?

If reports have been made before and have been unfounded I would HOPE you can still get off probation. Only your PO knows, of course.

I sometimes think family does things to "us" that strangers would never think of.

Thank you again! I feel a little bit more at ease... I just can't get over the fact that my own mother would be that evel andn now she has made a complaint against the Caseworker who investigated the 1st complaint my mom made in 2010 stating that she did not do her job. I even had a draft of a complaint to the NJ Board of LCSW prepared (and did not mail out), and I gave it to the Caseworker the evening she was here along with having her hearing 2 VM messages I saved that my brother (who is in cahoots with my mother) left on my sister's VM months ago indicating that they would call DYFS on her and me. This is absolutely vindictive and just unbelieveable! Again, thank you so much!

Please keep me informed and let me know how this works out.

The good news about vindictive, small, mean people is that they eventually show their vindictive, small, mean side and then everybody knows where they're coming from. On your side of things it looks like that's already happened.

Judy, I sure will keep you informed... I am a good Mom and did nothing wrong! She's a 70 year old woman with 2 daughters and several grandchildren (oldest being 31), and 3 great-grandchildren that want nothing to do with her. No contact, no communcation, no nothing. That, in and of itself, I believe speaks VOLUMES. Thanks again!

Sounds like her hobby is upsetting her family members.

- please stay in touch.

That's exactly it, Judy! She causes havoc in family members' lives because we do not want anything to do with her. Unfortunately, her constant mental abuse was the cause of my dad's suicide in 1989, and 22 years later, I can somewhat understand why he ended his life (not that it was right). She knows how to manipulate people and the "system" and is very "believeable". However, this is 2nd time in 1 year that she made a DYFS complaint against me and once I receive the outcome, I will be filing my complaint against her with the Board of LCSW. If she is doing this to her own children, I can only imagine what she is doing to her patients. She is clearly utilizing her LCSW as a weapon, and this must stop. Thanks again for your support and assistance and I will advise as to the progress/outcome. Have a Happy Holiday!