I recently got engaged (about a month ago) and have been with my fiancé for about a year. I know he loves me. Besides the fact that he just proposed last month, he's affectionate with me and physically nothing has changed. But since just after the proposal, he hasn't initiated an "I love you." I have said it and he has responded to it, but I am wondering why he hasn't initiated it. I know this might seem silly, but is there really a reason why he might stop? Or am I just overthinking this (as I tend to do often)?

I know he's stressed out at work, and that might be part of it, but I just can't stop worrying about it.

Have you even asked him??
You can not base a marriage on guessing you need to talk to each other.

It is possible you are reading too much into it, or it is possible that he just thinks you know he loves you. The only way to find out is to ask him straight out why he no longer says it.

You know, saying I Love You all the time can get to the point where it becomes a habit rather than expressing a true feeling.

My husband and I say it on rare occasion because we know how the other feels. But there are times when we actually feel the love and then we do say it. It means so much more then instead of hearing it over and over again.

While it is nice to hear it all the time, it becomes redundant. It is such a special feeling to hear it when one is sincere in their feelings rather than having to say it all the time.

I will definitely talk to him. But J_9, you make a great point. When we first started dating, I remember him saying he had a friend who told his Mom and sister "I love you" every time they hung up the phone. He thought it was too much and didn't feel like it even meant anything if it's just part of a typical conversation. I think you're right - knowing him, he probably just thinks I know he loves me. And I do know that... but I will still talk with him. As curly says, I don't want to go into a marriage guessing. :)

Thanks so much!

U can just sit down and tell him what's on your mind or what's buggin you or u can not say it to him for a while and just see what he does he wouldn't have perposed if he did love you you know lol

Love rian

hi moni,

I find the those three words, I LOVE YOU, are over used and most of the time said without true meaning, your fiancé, is deeply in love with you since he has proposed to you, this shows true love, if he respects you, cares for you and loves you. Then I think repeating a word over and over again can lose its meaning. "it might look great on T.v" but I find there some things that express true love a lot more... sit down open a bottle of wine and have sum light snacks, NO t.v , just mellow music and have a Chat, and let time drift by, you'll soon see...

and I guarantee that moment will be more valuable than any 3 words.

hope this helped

Well, it is a great idea to talk to him. But if he did not love you would he have proposed? Probably not.

Most likely, like my hubby, he is holding back for special moments. It just seems to get monotonous to say it ALL THE TIME!! Ugggg!!

I know I feel so warm and happy when on rare occasion mine does say it to me. Otherwise it is just casual conversation.

Thank you all so much! It really helps put things into perspective. I'm a worry wart anyway and now realize this is something completely silly for me to spend time thinking about! I appreciate your advice and opinions, thanks a bunch!

Instead of saying I Love You when getting off the phone or leaving for work, my hubby says "Later"

I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he will see me later. Which means that he knows that by the grace of God that there will be no accidents, no one will leave the other, etc etc. We will BE TOGETHER LATER.

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Originally Posted by moni77

I recently got engaged (about a month ago) and have been with my fiance for about a year. I know he loves me. Besides the fact that he just proposed last month, he's affectionate with me and physically nothing has changed. But since just after the proposal, he hasn't initiated an "I love you." I have said it and he has responded to it, but I am wondering why he hasn't initiated it. I know this might seem silly, but is there really a reason why he might stop? Or am I just overthinking this (as I tend to do often)?

I know he's stressed out at work, and that might be part of it, but I just can't stop worrying about it.

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I'm going to give you a man's perspective that I think is appropriate. He just got engaged with you. To him giving up his "freedom" is proof of his love. I think he feels like he doesn't have to say it as much since he's made a commitment to you that he is going to be in a permanent relationship. I'd guess he just assumes that you'd know from those actions. It's his logical brain compared to your emotional brain. The same situation is looked at differently by the sexes. As you said he doesn't hold back with the words so he's not brushing you off. He's just expressing his love in a different way.

I think you're overthinking it. A lot of guys just don't initiate it, for whatever reason. Talk is cheap, so if his actions show it then that's what's important.

Agree with Chuff, I guess he thinks now that he has proposed and you have accepted that he has won you over...

So don't let him think he has won you as easy as that, he still needs to make some efforts and initiating an I love you is an easy one.

At this stage don't get needy with him, continue to live your life and don't make him your life , you are engaged , but he is not your life.

Continue to go out with friends and be a mystery, keep doing things that should keep his attraction alive.