Hi

Just yesterday I was dumped by text, which I just thought was out of order as I thought I deserved more than that. I told him this and I heard from my firend that his own mates had a go at him for the way that he did it. He did say it is a nice way like he wasn't ready for a relationship. But I don't know if that was the true reason because he was fine with me. I saw him on the satuarday he was fine. He said to me he's been thinking about us the last couple of days and its not working for him, he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he was wrong. But come on how can you decide that after 2 days when he was with me just over 2months! All of a sudden he realises? The situation unresolved for me, but I've now decided just 2 forget about him, because obviously he didn't think much of me. He admitted he was a coward he wanted to say it to my face but was too scared. But he's 21, grow up and get some balls I told him. I'll stop going on now. I thought things were fine and I really started to like him, then out the blue, that's my only question. I just need others too confirm that he was out of order. I still have to see him though as he is the mate of my m8's boyfriend. :mad: :(

I know exactly how you feel as I was dumped by email a long time ago. At the time I was devastated but then you realise you deserve much more than that and if he doesn't realise what a wonderful girl you are, then he is blind. YOu are a sensible girl and mature for your age, you don't want anyone to text you he doesn't want to see you any longer-he has to grow up and see the real world...
I am sure you will get over this-just get out there and have some fun!

He way too young. Guys really aren't ready for anything serious until about age 30.

This IS the day of text, e-mail, etc. - I DON'T recommend EVER communicating anyhting serious by test - he is a coward.

Just for get about him - he needs a lot of growing up.

He was out of order. I'm in agreement with you.

All though dumping you text style is a new thing these days. It's still rude in my book. The fact he couldn't do it face to face should tell you he's not mature enough to face his responsibilities. I'm glad to hear your friends and his friends let him have it for the way he treated you. The way he did it, he didn't really care for you.

Unfortunately it happens that way. You've been togather for a while, thought things were okay and then BAM! He doesn't feel ready for a relationship with you. Calling him and telling him off won't make you feel better, especially if you get his voice mail. Send him a letter and tell him how hurt you are by the way he did it, not to mention the fact, he felt fine when you tlaked about it, he lied to you. Giving youa false sense of security in your relationship. Regardless if he reads it or not, you'll feel better and that's the main thing right now.

Then give yourself time to recover. Don't let his bad boy ways keep you from developing another relation ship. Thre are good guys out there. And util we find one, we kiss a few toads along the way.

Oh by the way, If he comes sniffing around for booty calls, hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. He'll soon get the messege;)

He was out of order. And I think you're wise to stay away from him. Frankly I don't see why you have to see him because he is the "mate of your mate's boyfriend." I'd steer clear of him for good, once and for all. I think your mate will understand.

He was wrong. My boyfriend broke up with me by a text a couple of weeks ago. It kind of hurt me because I thought I deserved some type of explanation since we have been going together for almost a year now. That just prove how immature he is and he really don't have any balls to confront you.

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Originally Posted by Dani171986

Hi

Just yesterday I was dumped by text, which i just thought was out of order as I thought i deserved more than that. I told him this and I heard from my firend that his own mates had a go at him for the way that he did it. He did say it is a nice way like he wasnt ready for a relationship. But i dont know if that was the true reason because he was fine with me. I saw him on the satuarday he was fine. He said to me hes been thinking about us the last couple of days and its not working for him, he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he was wrong. But come on how can you decide that after 2 days when he was with me just over 2months! All of a sudden he realises? The situation unresolved for me, but i've now decided just 2 forget about him, because obviously he didnt think much of me. He admited he was a coward he wanted to say it to my face but was too scared. But hes 21, grow up and get some balls i told him. I'll stop going on now. I thought things were fine and i really started to like him, then out the blue, thats my only question. I just need others too confirm that he was out of order. I still have to see him tho as he is the m8 of my m8's boyfriend. :mad: :(

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Thanks for all of your advice, its helped pick me up. But for some reason I still want to hear from him, like a few texts or if I see him he'll say hi. But I doubt he will. I think its because he was my first boyfriend and the person I lost my virginity to. He lost his to me too, but I feel that maybe I was only used just to show his m8s he can get a girlfriend, but didn't want the commitment of having one. I just feel silly as I put an effort into the relationship, I opened up, and I'm a quite closed off person. I just wonder if he ever really liked me, but how can you fake liking a person for just over 3 months. I just feel used sometimes and I was gullable enough to go along with it.

Good Morning Dani,

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Originally Posted by Dani171986

Thanks for all of your advice, its helped pick me up. But for some reason i still want to hear from him, like a few texts or if i see him he'll say hi. But i doubt he will.

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If he does it won't be for awhile. I wouldn't expect it though. There is a sudden void and your brain is questioning where that part is. That's why your wondering if he call, text, email, or contact you. The best way to fill it is to stay busy. If you get a thought of him, consciously tell yourself, "I'm moving forward and I'm focusing on this project now."

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Originally Posted by Dani171986

I think its because he was my first boyfriend and the person i lost my virginity to. He lost his to me too, but i feel that maybe i was only used just to show his m8s he can get a girlfriend, but didnt want the commitment of having one. I just feel silly as i put an effort into the relationship, i opened up, and im a quite closed off person. I just wonder if he ever really liked me, but how can you fake liking a person for just over 3 months.

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Your still young, he's still young and to be honest 3 months isn't that long of a time. I can't say why he did what he did, but I can say that you did everything fine. In the future with other guys you may not want to do it as fast. Perhaps you moved too fast but the reality is it's not worth worrying about.

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Originally Posted by Dani171986

I just feel used sometimes and i was gullable enough to go along with it.

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Your gullable if you don't learn something from this. We are all gullable at times. We all get caught up in situations. It's those who take something from a negative experience and move forward with something new, even in a bad situation, that are NOT gullable.

A man that dumps you by text is a coward and has no self respect for you if he did this .

You are better off without him and better to find someone who would truly love and care for you , for who and what you are .

Good luck in all you do.

Thanks

It the third day, and I think I'm actually over him. No crying or self doubt on my part today. I think the sadness was just my initial reaction, cause it came as a shock to me. I wasn't with him very long, I just decided to remember the times before he was a and accept the fact that the break up had nothing to do with me. It was all his issues.

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Originally Posted by Dani171986

Hi

Just yesterday I was dumped by text, which i just thought was out of order as I thought i deserved more than that. I told him this and I heard from my firend that his own mates had a go at him for the way that he did it. He did say it is a nice way like he wasnt ready for a relationship. But i dont know if that was the true reason because he was fine with me. I saw him on the satuarday he was fine. He said to me hes been thinking about us the last couple of days and its not working for him, he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he was wrong. But come on how can you decide that after 2 days when he was with me just over 2months! All of a sudden he realises? The situation unresolved for me, but i've now decided just 2 forget about him, because obviously he didnt think much of me. He admited he was a coward he wanted to say it to my face but was too scared. But hes 21, grow up and get some balls i told him. I'll stop going on now. I thought things were fine and i really started to like him, then out the blue, thats my only question. I just need others too confirm that he was out of order. I still have to see him tho as he is the m8 of my m8's boyfriend. :mad: :(

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Hello obviously tis guy wants to be with other girls because 1: if he really liked you you wood be still together and 2: he woodnt ave dumped you by text you need sme1 else trust me get back out there and I'm 100% sure you won't even no that u's were together xoxoxoxo

Hey
I Think That Was Really Selfish And Cowardly Of Your Boyfriend To Do That To You. He Should Have Been Way More Mature Than That Thaen To Dump You Over A Text. Im A Guy, And I Thimk That If Thateres A Problem In A Relationship, It Needs To Be Talked About. This Guy You Were Dating Sounds Very Insecure About Himself, And Your Right, He Needs To Grow Up And Get Some Balls!!

Being afraid to face people with bad news is cowardly and immature and not worth you worrying about.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Being afraid to face people with bad news is cowardly and immature and not worth you worrying about.

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Tell me about it, my ex did this to me, she called me though and told me then refused to see me.. >I had to practically beg her to tell me to my face and then she could not look me in the eye or even really look at me.

Nobody deserves that, not if they treated the other person well... It is the decent thing to do!! Always..

Hi
Thanks for all of your advice. But as days go by, feeling change. Its only been two weeks, but it feels like I haven't seen him for a month! Even though he didn't end it in a decent way, I still can't think bad of him, he is a nice guy. Me and my m8's are starting to go out more often now, getting away from out grannish ways of not doing anything. Were only 20. I still think about him though, all day, every day and how I just miss having contact with him. I know I shouldn't have, but I text him last week and asked if we could meet up to chat and asked for at least a reply if the answer was no. He said he feels bad about the way he broke up with me, but there is nothing to say, he's not with me anymore and to give other guys a chance. Because I am a quite guarded and abrupt person, I don't trust easily. Don't give anyone a chance. But for some reason I was different with him. I've stopped feeling sorry for myself now and stop thinking it had anything to do with me, its his issues. However, after a little while I would like to keep in contact, we got along well in general and I will bump into him when I go out as we sort of mix with the same group. I don't want it to be akward and I would be so annoyed if he just blanked him like he didn't know me. I know I should be thinking about moving on, but at the moment its making me feel better that hopefully he might miss me and get in contact with me. I don't want to move on as of yet. I've already tried so I don't want to become a pest and be the only one making an effort. So I'm just going to wait it out and see. I have deleted his number of my phone though, so no more silly texts from me. Thanks for listening, I just had to get it out, no-one apart from one person really wants to listen to me go on about it. My best friend Carly, she's the one with the boyfriend I met Gavin through. She's a good mate. I don't have many, but I happy with the few I've got as I know I can trust and rely on them.

I went out last night. I have accepted the fact I'm not going to get back with him. Went out with my friend to the usual to have a good night. It was until I looked over and I saw my ex. All of a sudden I was panicing and I couldn't relax. But regardless I thought id carry on dancing and have a ggod time. I didn't see why I had to leave just cause he was there. But after a hour had a bit of a break down and had to go have a little cry in the toilets. Im quite proud of myself though he didn't see me upset and I just stayed away from him all night. But sometimes I just couldn't help but look over to see what he was up to. I was just upset that 3 weeks ago if I saw him I would have gone up to him and give him a hug and a kiss. Despite last night I am healing, I didn't cry myself to sleep. but I still can't see myself with anyone else yet. At first I did want to stay in contact, but I don't think I can anyway. For me I think it has to be all or nothing. Not really looking for any answers, I'm just trying to get my thoughts out.

I am very sorry to hear your story, it amazes me how people can be "so cruel". I hope you know it isn't you, it truly is that person is afraid to tell you and is being a coward. Remember you deserve better treatment than this. There is a website that may help you if you like. You've Got Power | Home she has great tips and you can ask her for advice.

My thoughts are with you.

Thanks Teaching. It just amazes me how people can turn so cold so quickly. How someone you though so much of, is all of a sudden another person to the one you met. Obviously by the way he hadled everything he didn't think much of me. Even if he did think much of me he has a lot of growing up to do (dont get into a relationship if your not sure you want to be in one). He's also got to learn how to communicate more; he was never that open when it came to telling me anything. If he did have anything to say (private or personal) it would always be by text. Glad I came across this website tho; its helped me a lot as I've never had to go through anything like this before. Im quite guarded and don't let it down often. This is one of the reasons; because you can get hurt. However, its part of life and I can't go through life being so defensive. Oh well it was good while it lasted.