After 14 months the day of the 10th our 14 month anniversary she had a new girlfriend which was a girl I ****ed before and use to be a good friend, and now they're together the day we broke up. When me and my girlfriend first broke up for a few weeks I was angry and mad and on a whiskey night had sex with the friend she fell in love I hurt her because I told her I loved my girlfriend and wanted to be with her and spend my forever with her pretty much. Now they're on the phone every night in arelationship on fb and etc has her friends texting me saying things happen for a reason and I've left them alone, and people saying let them be happy together I sent her a messaging saying I was sorry and I wish them both the best of luck and happiness because everyone deserves it. But my heart is torn into a million pieces I don't know what to do I smoke myself to sleep or have night mares etc... help. Advice?

Resign yourself to them being a couple and back away.

It is a very hard thing to digest when you still love someone
And they now love someone else.
It tears your heart out. But it happens everyday.
You can love someone but will never be able to live with them
Or even be around them.

You need to stop all contact. It will only open the wounds wider.
Take time for you. Be all about you
And what it takes to heal from the pain
And anguish you now feel.

Keep busy and your mind occupied . Don't live in the past ,
It is gone and you can do nothing about it.

I am sorry that you , or anyone has to go through this.
I know how hard and painful it is.

I also know that it fades and goes away .
And staying isolated from the ex helps.
It is not a fast or easy process that you now face
But it is surmountable and you can and will get
Through this. As sad as it is , you need to start now.

NC. No contact , no text , no calls ,
No information from mutual friends , no FB or MS ,

No Tweets , no driving by where they live in order
To "bump" into them , if you do encounter the ex anywhere
Don't even wave.
Even the westside one finger wave (as we used to call it).

That part of your life no longer exists.

Stay focused on you and your time to heal.