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-   -   Boyfriend turns down sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=570213)

  • Apr 13, 2011, 10:47 PM
    evyah
    Boyfriend turns down sex
    My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years now.
    In the past 6 months, he's been constantly turning down sex whenever I suggest it. We used to have sex almost every day, now it's once a week when HE wants it.
    I'm hardly in the mood when he wants to because he chooses inconvenient times (like 3am), but I feel like I have to give in and have sex because I never know when I get to next since it's always up to him. It's starting to get frustrating because sex just isn't enjoyable for me 80% of the time since I'm either barely awake or just not into it. It's starting to really ruin the relationship on my end, though for him he's totally fine.
    What makes things more hurtful is that he watches porn almost everyday, and a lot of it at that.
    What should I do? I've already talked to him about this but it's not really getting better. We'll go a week where it's good then he'll go back to the same ol' routine.
  • Apr 13, 2011, 11:11 PM
    martinizing2

    Please confirm your age . It is required before we answer.
  • Apr 14, 2011, 12:30 AM
    evyah
    Comment on martinizing2's post
    I'm 19
  • Apr 14, 2011, 02:15 AM
    martinizing2
    You said you have talked about the problem ,
    But did you really communicate?
    Does he know how you really feel and
    Do you understand why he is the way he is right now?

    What did he say about the reduction in libido?

    It is essential to get as much information exchanged as possible.
    As it goes here too. The more you tell us about what has gone on
    The more accurate and helpful the advice will be.

    Regarding the porn.
    Men watch porn. At least 99% watch it and as strange as it may sound
    It has little affect on the sexual activities with their partner.
    We do not want our partners necessarily to look or act like the porn girls.
    We don't compare you to the girls on the screen .

    There are those who become obsessed with porn and spend hour upon hour
    Glued to the screen and let everything else take a back seat and let their
    Lives go to hell and seem not to care or notice. This is addiction and
    Is the exception rather than the rule.

    Did you discuss anything that may spice up your sex life?
    Any fantasies or ideas you may want to try?
    Discussing and acting out fantasies can be a big boost in the bedroom.

    Do you use any toys?
    Vibrators , which now range from the tiny ones that fit on a finger ,
    To some that resemble pistoning fire hydrants , are almost essential.
    They represent a plethora of options and play for both parties.

    Now that you may have a little better idea of what kind of info
    Will help us help you... some more backround and information
    About you will be helpful in expanding the subject to a more specific
    Point about how things may unfold to get you out of that slump.
  • Apr 14, 2011, 10:53 AM
    JudyKayTee

    This always amazes me - people have sex with each other but can't talk to each other.

    You are (presumably) both adults. Talk to him AGAIN without being accusatory or upset. Ask HIM. He knows what the problem is.

    If he does not, then he needs to speak to a Physician to rule out any health problems.

    Then you talk again.

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