I am confused on the proper ground and bonding here is what I have: 100 amp disconnect coming off Meter (2 hot, 1 common), then 4 wires to the 100 amp panel in barn (2 hot, 1 commmon, and 1 ground). My question is do I bond this ground to the common at the disconnect and then connect to the added equipment ground at the panel and do not pput in the bond screw? I have ground rod at the panel connected to equipemnt ground in the barn.

See if you can follow the diagram below I found at DIYchatroom.com:

Ok, IF I am reading that correctly, bond at the Disconnect and do not bond the equipment and common at the panel in the barn. Am I correct or way off? I have asked some local electricians and each have a different opinion, I guess that is why I am so confused.

You are 100% correct, the neutral and equipment ground cannot be connected at any place but the Main.

Only deal with the electricians that told you what I have told you.

1 said to do it that way and another said to not even run the ground wire between the disconnect and the panel at the barn.

Hire the one electrician that explained to do it as the diagram.