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-   -   What would you do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=569153)

  • Apr 9, 2011, 05:32 PM
    commitment
    What would you do?
    Hi people,if you are in a group of some girlfriends which claim to be best friends with you, but two of them go out alone without telling you and you see photos of them on Facebook, what would you do ? Tell them? Or ignore the fact or not talk to them anymore?
  • Apr 9, 2011, 05:34 PM
    Alty

    I would realize that just because you're all friends doesn't mean you always have to do things as a group. There's no rule in the friend handbook that says they can't just go out together without you.

    I wouldn't say anything, because you really have no reason to be upset.
  • Apr 9, 2011, 05:41 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    People do and even should have lives outside of every friendship. So even best friends will be doing things alone, or just with some friends. To expect that a group of friends will always be doing everything together is not realistic
  • Apr 10, 2011, 05:13 AM
    commitment
    I don't agree, cause if they say we do everything together they are lying,but thanks for the help ;-)
  • Apr 10, 2011, 06:14 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by commitment View Post
    i don't agree, cause if they say we do everything together they are lying,but thanks for the help ;-)

    I understand you're upset. I'm assuming that you're a young teen, based on your writing and the fact that this is really upsetting you. When you get older you'll realize that this isn't that big a deal.

    I have a group of friends that I'm very close to. We do a lot of things together as a group, but not everything. Sometimes it's just two or three of us going out. Maybe one person or more doesn't want to go to whatever event we're going to, or something came up, or two of us just want to go out alone, chat.

    I think you're expecting way too much. But, if it's bothering you then talk to them about it.

    When you get older, a bit more mature, you'll realize that this isn't the end of the world. You'll get married, have kids, a job, responsibilities, and getting together as a group won't be that easy anymore (if you're all still friends when you're grown up). Things happen, people mature and sometimes move on.
  • Apr 11, 2011, 05:20 AM
    joypulv
    Plus there's so many reasons, just logistically, that might have occurred:
    You weren't reachable and it was spontaneous.
    They were invited on the spur of the moment by others.
    They were invited by people who wanted them specifically.
    There wasn't room for more than them (in a car, in a place, etc.)
    Other reasons...
    Here's the deal. If you get upset and stew about this and call it lying, you are setting yourself up to drive a wedge in the friendship. Your choice.
    The best advice has been given - let it go. If you can't, keep your comments non accusing and maybe joking, like 'gee, I'm so crushed I think I'll go eat 20 twinkies.'
  • Apr 12, 2011, 01:33 AM
    commitment
    Thanks for your opinions and ideas, I never even realized stuff like that... shall not speak about it is the best thing I think... that way no one will fight with me

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