Ok, I'll be totally honest... a co-worker and I started a relationship while he was married and I was in a 2 year realationship. At first it was just a physical/monor crush kind of thing, but after several months it turned serious. I decided to break up with my at-the-time-boyfriend and even though I didn't put any pressure on this guy he decided to file for divorce. They had been having problems and considering divorce for about 3 years, but have 2 kids so they hadn't gone through with it until about 10 months ago.
I moved out of my ex's house and he and I were spending lots of time together and I met his kids and everything. Things were going great for about 6 months, we planned on getting married and having at least one more child. But then a few months ago he started having doubts about divorce and started feeling really guilty. He has put a hold on the divorce and he keeps asking me for a break. But every time we try to take a break, it only last a few days max before we are texting, then calling, then seeing each other again until the cycle starts all over.
I know that his marriage will never work at this point. She knows about me and she knows we work together. But he's trying to be respectful of his 10 year marriage and his 2 kids and doesn't know if he can go through with the divorce. He loves me, but feels guilty being with me even though his marriage has been bad for years and I am 1000% ready and excited to accept his kids and take care of them.
I am very spiritual and have also consulted several psychics, and everything keeps telling me to give him space and he will eventually finish the divorce and be with me. But it is so hard to wait! Especially since I know he loves me as much as I love him. So how do I give him the space he wants? He is worth waiting for, but it is very hard and makes me miserable to be without him.

Reality check-he's not leaving he's wife.

Statistics-out of the three % of people who cheat on their partners AND get together with the new 'love' interest,two% go back to their families.

Plus you know that he was able to cheat on his wife-the same as you cheated on your then partner,so this started as an affair-and I don't think it's going to go any further.

It's the hard truth that he is not going to leave his wife for you.. you are just a game for him.. to pass his time... accept this truth and try to move on ASAP. Do some good for yourself. This man is not worth of your love.. he is cheating on his wife.. and what's the guarantee that he will not cheat you if he marries you.
He has two kids too. Leave this man for the sake of those kids at least. I know what I have said is difficult to implement... especially when you both work at the same place... try and look out for a new job for you.. you deserve someone better who can love you truly.. will be yours only..

You are heading head first into a brick wall, and had better get out of their business with your hopes, and dreams, and flights of fantasy.

Doesn't matter what you KNOW, WANT, or need, its still their mess to clean up, and that could take years so be a professional, and keep it business, or get a new job, whatever, but leave the married guy who isn't ready for a divorce ALONE!!

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Originally Posted by ;

I am 1000% ready and excited to accept his kids and take care of them.

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And what makes you think his wife will let some home-wrecker within ten feet near her kids?? Because that's what she and her children will think of you as, a home-wrecker. Your living in a fantasy land, it doesn't work like that my dear. The guy is a jerk and your both basing this "thing" on lies and more lies!

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Originally Posted by adviceishere

and what makes you think his wife will let some home-wrecker within ten feet near her kids??? because thats what she and her children will think of you as, a home-wrecker. your living in a fantasy land, it doesnt work like that my dear. the guy is a jerk and your both basing this "thing" on lies and more lies!

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Can't rep you but I so agree!! :)

You need to leave him alone, he and you had no business even starting this, but as long as he is living at home and they are still married, you have no business envolved

And how DARE you be such a >>UUU... that you would meet his kids, that is the worst thing I have heard of a tramp doing in my over 15 years of answering questions.
You have no morals and no values at all putting those kids into this also.

But it appears pain and heartache is in store , since as most men do, he wants to break it with you and stay with his wife.

And even more, normally it is the women who loses out at work also, when their affairs go south

It's too bad the psychics didn't tell you that no good can come of having an affair with a married man.

Nothing is 'harmless' when you have, as you said, "a physical/minor crush" with a man who would cheat on his wife, and risk his marriage. The moment you decided to cross that line, was the same moment you started to get the consequences of that decision as well.

If his wife is still in the picture, and his children, and he wants his space, and has put the divorce on hold, I don't know what more you need. At best, this 'cycle' that you mentioned, will continue with the odd booty call, and he will leave you, and go home.

I don't think his wife deserves any of this, and certainly his children don't. Surely you can see now that you've made and contributed to a situation that never should have happened in the first place.

He isn't single, he isn't available. For your sake, as well as his, and his families' sake, it is time for you to end the fantasy of being his wife, and being a mother to his children.

It's over.

Leave him and his kids alone. Find another job if you can or move to another section.
The fact that he called off the divorce says he is not 100% behind leaving his wife and kids for you.
What you are doing is wrong. Do the right thing and walk away from this.

I have said this before and I'll say it again here:

If he loved you, he would be with you and not his wife.

If he were a decent man, who loved his family more than himself, he wouldn't be hurting them like this.

If he cared about his children, he wouldn't have the woman he is cheating with around them/

If YOU had a ounce of self respect, you would run like hell.