Ok I might sound selfish but I'm really having a hard time getting over my baby mother its even worst now that she is envoled wit someone else we were in a 5 yr relationship and have a 4 yr old but thur out the relationship it wasn't all peaches and cream we fought most of the over little stuff but towrads the end of our relationship she told me that she was never happy that kind of hurt me but we been broke up now going on a yr my feelins for stayed thur out the break up now she got a new man and all I can think of him doing what I couldn't do is to make her happy... and her having sex wit another man is killing am I being selfish? What should I do?

: ( Who is to say that THEY really are having a "good" relationship or a good time?
You don't know that~so why torture yourself with the thoughts of something that may or may not be happening. I understand that a good man wants to make his woman happy--and you tried! But the woman needs to be willing to BE happy too! That puts some responsibility on her too right?
If you guys were fighting, not being chill and happy together~that's not a good environment for your child. One of the best gifts we can give our children is to show them HOW to be happy~especially when live truly ain't a bowl of cherries. We can have joy in spite of it all and that's a great gift to give.
Let the woman be... Learn to be content in whatever state of being you find yourself~and then impart that strength of knowing how to be content to your child. Let go of drama--the universe is full of endless possibilities. Being a Dad is most important now. Be a GREAT DAD! You'll be happier if you let it be for now. Just breathe and show your child how to live and love happily regardless of circumstances. Peace! : )

Sometimes we want to go back and fix things after we realize our mistakes. In some cases you get the chance to do that, in this case I believe that ship has sailed. Hopefully you learned from your failed relationship, and the next time around you will not make the same mistakes. Time heals all wounds. There will be another woman in your future. Be patient. Love comes when we least expect it. That being said, it will not be easy to find love with another person when you are fixated on someone that has moved on. You are not being selfish. It is normal to have those feelings. What is not normal is to try to force someone to love you. Don't do it. Keep your dignity intact. Be happy for her, even though your heart is breaking. God puts us through many trials, so that we can learn from them, and grow. You should talk to God, and open up about what is in your heart. God listens to those who reach out to him. Wait a while, their relationship is fairly new, and it is a rebound relationship. Those hardly ever work out. Tell her that you still have feelings for her, and that you are sorry that you could not make things work out for you two. Put the blame on yourself. Then leave it in God's hands.

I think you accept that things have changed and adjust your priorities to being a great dad, because you may not ever be the happy couple, but you will be tied to this woman for as long as you have a child together.

The romance didn't work, but that's not an excuse not to be good parents.

I've been dealing with my heart ache for about three months now. We have a beautiful son and daughter together but she just up and left me because she wanted to go party! I'm guessing her just turning 21 had a lot to do with it. Even though she use to promise me that would never happen.

I guess what hurts the most is, How the hell can she just walk away and break up our family like that over parting and low life dudes I heard she's been revolving herself around? She keeps the kids on the weekdays & I'm getting them on the weekends. She betrayed me/us in every way possible and now our kids are the ones who will end up paying the heaviest price.

One thing I've learned is that women can be cold hearted b*tches. They cry about how bad men treat them but they fail to realize how cruel they themselves can be! The difference is, when a woman has it in her that she wants to leave you she will leave you, no second thoughts! We as men tend to think about it more rationally and at times suck it up and do the right thing for our kids. As was the case for me. At first I wanted to leave her but after our son was born I told myself that I now had a responsibility to my kids as well as her. It wasn't her fault I was feeling like this! Eventually my thoughts and feeling about leaving her deminished. I fell in love with her all over again but stronger!

My advise to you is forget about her and move on like yesterday! If she can move on that quickly without a second thought then she deserves to be treated like trash! She doesn't deserve the sleepless nights you suffer through, the weight loss due to a broken heart, the agony of feeling like your heart is being tore right out of your chest. What she does deserve is to be treated like she obviously wants to be treated. Let her go brother, the way I look at it is she's someone else's problem now not yours! Move on be happy, become a better man for you and your kids and learn from the mistakes you did when you were with her. After all, no one is perfect!

You are not being selfish, you are being mean, but to yourself. You have kept false hope riding you this whole time because you were not seeing her for your child only but also to try to rekindle things with her. Now it is time to stop, go no contact with her except when it is completely about your child together and remember that what she does or doesn't do is none of your business. Respect her private life.