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-   -   Painful break up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=56871)

  • Jan 23, 2007, 12:38 PM
    Burd
    Painful break up
    Well this stories a bit long, me and my ex broke up ovr a year ago mutually, you see we were spending too much time together and both our parents didn't approve of this, when we broke up it was horrible, I lost weight, and was depressed and heart broken, after 8months we started talking again, we are now in contact but in different relationships, I still love her and it hurts to talk to her, We can't get back even thou we both would love nothing but that, but it confuses and hurts everybody around us, friends,family, and boyfriend and gfs, we tried talking about it but we blank it out every time, I hate living like this. Any suggestions?

    Should I just forget about her and move on? Should I risk everything and everyone for her?
  • Jan 23, 2007, 01:05 PM
    Suicidal Addiction
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Burd
    well this stories a bit long, me and my ex broke up ovr a year ago mutually, you see we were spending too much time together and both our parents didnt approve of this, when we broke up it was horrible, i lost weight, and was depressed and heart broken, after 8months we started talking again, we are now in contact but in different relationships, i still love her and it hurts to talk to her, We can't get back even thou we both wud love nothing but that, but it confuses and hurts everybody around us, friends,family, and bf and gfs, we tryed talking bout it but we blank it out every time, i hate living like this. any suggestions??

    shud i just forget about her and move on? shud i risk everything and everyone for her?

    I know just how you feel... I would try to start it again and this time take things more slowly... u know him or her more than you know anyone else so just try again I know you might be afraid to get hurt but throughout your life your going to get hurt so just take the chance and if it doesn't work out after the second time just say goodbye and try to forget u might find someone better lol
  • Jan 24, 2007, 12:37 AM
    talaniman
    How old are you and what's up with the parents?
  • Jan 24, 2007, 02:07 AM
    chuff
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Burd
    well this stories a bit long,

    LOL. This wasn't that long. You should see some of the books I write.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Burd
    me and my ex broke up ovr a year ago mutually, you see we were spending too much time together and both our parents didnt approve of this, when we broke up it was horrible,

    I'm a little confused. The parents didn't approve of all the time together or you being together as a couple.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Burd
    i lost weight, and was depressed and heart broken, after 8months we started talking again, we are now in contact but in different relationships, i still love her and it hurts to talk to her, We can't get back even thou we both wud love nothing but that, but it confuses and hurts everybody around us, friends,family, and bf and gfs, we tryed talking bout it but we blank it out every time, i hate living like this. any suggestions??

    shud i just forget about her and move on? shud i risk everything and everyone for her?

    Actually I'm hoping you can give us a little more detail. But my first suggestion is to break up with your current girlfriend. Your not being fair to her by being emotionally attached to you ex. Also you need to really straighten out some of these feelings before you get involved with another woman.
  • Jan 24, 2007, 07:46 AM
    talaniman
    I agree chuff, they both have partners, but can't see each other. This maybe some kind of cultural thing.
  • Jan 24, 2007, 09:15 AM
    sauce_69
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Burd
    well this stories a bit long, me and my ex broke up ovr a year ago mutually, you see we were spending too much time together and both our parents didnt approve of this, when we broke up it was horrible, i lost weight, and was depressed and heart broken, after 8months we started talking again, we are now in contact but in different relationships, i still love her and it hurts to talk to her, We can't get back even thou we both wud love nothing but that, but it confuses and hurts everybody around us, friends,family, and bf and gfs, we tryed talking bout it but we blank it out every time, i hate living like this. any suggestions??

    shud i just forget about her and move on? shud i risk everything and everyone for her?

    If you both truly love each other then you should do wutever it takes to be together, real loves hard ta come by
  • Jan 24, 2007, 09:33 AM
    Burd
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    How old are you and whats up with the parents?

    Were both 21, when we broke up we were 20

    My parents don't approve of her, and like wise her parent for me, they think it'll never work, because of our ethnic back grounds.

    Maybe it is a lost cause after all.
  • Jan 24, 2007, 09:37 AM
    chippers
    I think you might know the answer but are looking for validation. The fact it hurts when you talk and sometimes come up blank are signs you're moving on. You both have other relationships and you feel torn between the 2. whether it's bothering other people like family members, your main concern is dealing with how you're feeling at the moment.
    Your heart doesn't know the difference between culture or family objections. It'll take time to heal. The first time you talked, the old feelings you had for each other came flooding back like a tidal wave. Your concern shoulod be with your partner. How does she feel about you talking with an ex? How much are you invested in your cuurent relationship?
    We on the whole may say it doesn't bother us if our partners talk to an ex, but deep down we're worried and scared
    The ball is really in your court. No one can tell you what's right or what's wrong. But personally, If I were in a relationship and I loved my partner, I would focus on that.
    My ex is in the past where he belongs and my future is with the one I care about now.
    I hope this helps.
  • Jan 24, 2007, 09:50 AM
    Burd
    I don't enjoy spending time with my present girl friend as much as I love spending time with my ex,

    My girlfriend thinks I don't talk to my ex any more, she feels insecure about her, because I think she feels I love my ex more than her.

    The truth is, I can't fight 2 lost battles. I don't know who I should be with. They both make me happy, but if I had the choice today I'd choose my ex.
  • Jan 24, 2007, 09:51 AM
    Burd
    Talaniman you were right this is a cultural thing, but only to my parents not to me.
  • Jan 24, 2007, 10:25 AM
    talaniman
    Then you have a decision to make and a lot of thought needs to go into this as I have no knowledge on the cultural restraints you face. You can be happy or your families can be happy. It is you and your love who will have to live with this decision the rest of your lives. You and the one you want need to honestly talk and make sure you both know what your getting into. Can you handle the consequences? A lot of thought and communication is needed here friend and I can only wish you luck.

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