My husband has a certain friend over every day when I come home from work, and that was fine with me until his friend started to bring different people with him that neither my husband or I know when he comes. My husband and I have asked him not to bring any one with him when he comes over, but he does not listen. So yesterday when I got home from work I told him and his friend that they had five minutes to leave my house and my husband got all defensive and said that they didn't have to leave, so I told them that they had a choice to either leave willingly or I would have them removed by a police officer. That time they left. My husband had informed me that they would just be back when I returned from work the next day. What can I do about this situation? I am head of household on my lease, my husband is on probation for family violence and does not work or pay any of the bills. I have a 3 year old son so how can I make this STOP?

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Originally Posted by jyesicamashburn

how can I make this STOP??

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Hello j:

Have you thought of divorce?

excon

You have more problems than just who your husband hangs out with.

He has a conviction for family violence, he's unemployed, and from the little you wrote, not exactly putting his family first.

Your husband's friend, also brings his friends to your home, that neither you or your husband know. Just a gut reaction here, and it sounds like there might be more going on with these get togethers than just sitting over coffee watching a ballgame on TV.

Has there ever been reason to suspect drug use with your husband?

One thing is for sure, you can't trust him, and you can't trust his friends. He needs to get his act together, and if it were me, there would be some expectations with some pretty serious consequences if he doesn't clean up his act.

If he cannot respect a mutually agreeable set of expectations, it might be time to consider a more permanent solution.

You have certainly made yourself clear about how you feel.

Your husbands position seems tenuous under the circumstances you describe, is he aware of the seriousness of all this?

Sounds like he may be smoking pot and getting the senses dulled and diminished as can happen when you sit and smoke pot all day because you don't work .

Make some rules you can live with,
Then see if he can live with you and the rules,
Or alone if he can't.

He should be man enough to be contributing to the relationship.