Threads merged for the WHOLE story



My girlfriend and I are planning a trip, she told me when we met that she took her last boyfriend on a trip (he was a jerk) and made him pay for everything and used up all his funds and got him to take out a loan too, Now she is asking me to transfer funds to her account so we can save better, I told her that I didn't like that idea because of what she did to her ex, she got very upset and won't talk to me and asked me why I even wanted to go and just to forget the whole idea,, the flights are booked and paid for, which she did pay for,

Was it wrong of me to say this to her? Was it wrong of me to feel this way?

Well,if that's her track record,I would protect my savings too!

Why does the word gold digger come to mind?

Okay cancel the flights if you don't want to spend your savings and you both share the loss amount.. Or go there and share for everything..

You aren't married. There is no need to have a joint account, and if you did, it would be for the mutual benefit of both to pay for things like mortgages, car loans, utilities etc.

I don't know why you would get yourself mixed up with a person who used another person to such a degree financially, and then wonder, knowing what she has done, fall for being used financially yourself- for the same scheme!

Her getting angry about you not putting money in her bank account, instead of agreeing to split everything 50/50, shows a big flaw in her character. Her actions speak volumes.

If you are stuck going on this trip, I hope that before you go, you tell her also that everything will be split 50/50 on the trip. Any reasonable person shouldn't have to be told in the first place.

It's not that we don't want to go, it's just that I told her how I felt and she is so pissed off and telling me that I don't trust her, I do trust her, just a little scared to open up my personal financial stuff, to anyone!

Jake2008, what kind of character do you mean by, and what do you mean her actions speak volume, Im at a point where I feel I can't do anything that won't piss her off, I've actually been thinking about telling her that this relation ship won't work, but I care about her so much,, we've been fighting for two weeks now about stupid things, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells, and really watch what I say to not upset her, she gets pissed off and goes on the Facebook and talks to everyone about I don't know what and texts everyone about I don't know and ignores me all together, I get the impression she hates me, I asked her about it and she just said I'm hormonal so I'm confused as what to do?? Ggggrrrrrrrrrr

When your girlfriend told you that she managed to get a boyfriend to pay for everything, and even take out a loan, and then imply in the same way that you should also throw your finances over to her, that, to me, is a big red flag.

It seems after your second post that more of her character is showing. When she doesn't get her own way,there are arguments and the imbalance of control leaves you walking on eggshells as you said, and you have to carefullly pick your words as to not upset her. Then when you do, she retaliates via social media, and ignores you. These are not the signs of a mature person. These are signs of a user.

Then she dismisses your very founded concerns, by saying you're 'hormonal'?

She sounds to me like a person who cares only about herself. If you are feeling this way now, I think you have every reason to question the relationship. I don't see any balance between meeting the needs and wants of both parties, for the benefit of each other.

It does sound like she is a spoiled 12 yr old.

Getting angry and "punishing you" because you didn' t do what she wanted you to.

In light of what she did to her ex, and it is not always a good idea to have joint accounts when not married.
You have every right to your privacy and she should be adult enough to accept that.

With this going on for two weeks I too would seriously question the viability of the relationship.

If you cannot communicate like adults and settle your problems it paints a gloomy picture for the future ,
Very gloomy.

I also would not go on the trip if she doesn't get over her
Tantrum and start acting like an adult.
Turn in the tickets and fly to Vegas by yourself.
Now that's a trip.

Sounds more like she doesn't trust that you can manage your own money and have savings. Here's a thought, don't go on this trip with her and that will show that you saved money.

Gold digger does come to mind, I suggest you rethink this relationship.

You did right, and since she has paid for the trip, just sit back and wait for her hormones to settle back down.

Now don't forget what she is capable of and watch your own butt, if you haven't gotten the good sense to leave her alone if you can't handle her hormones.

I just wanted to say thank you all so very much, you've all given me some good input on this, I'm going to give it a bit more time and if things don't settle down, I'll have a trip to LA to sell :) and again thank you everyone

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mrunderstood

I just wanted to say thank you all so very much, you've all given me some good input on this, I'm going to give it a bit more time and if things don't settle down, I'll have a trip to LA to sell :) and again thank you everyone

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It is nice to hear that someone listens and may benefit from being here.

Thanks for letting us in on your decision.

That's good, as she was just giving you fair warning what she would do to you if she thought you were a jerk, and not giving in to her probably would qualify in her mind.

I think she would not hesitate to put you in a trick bag some kind of way, if she got you away from home with no options.

Watch your back with this one.

Trust me, I intend on watching my back, and again thank you

Take care and good luck!

You would have been out of your mind to put money in her account period. Especially knowing her history. You should tell her to put her money in your account to save better. See what she says to that.

Threads merged for the WHOLE story


Well I don't really know how to ask this,

But here goes, over three years ago I split up with my ex and was single for the three years and I met this beautiful women, we've now been together for 3 months and she means a lot to me, however my ability to maintain my erection seems to be not lasting, I get turned on, but just can't seem to keep the stiffy, I've kind of have a lot going on in my life, like not seeing eye to eye with my dad and my brother, my brother recently kicked me out of the house we were renting and being that he did it at the beginning of the month, I'm low on funds so I can't afford to get a place yet, I've been living out of my car, my girlfriend just went through a miscarriage, and it's affecting my work ethic at my job, and I pick my girlfriend up from her moms house after work, being that I have no home yet, we drive around untell early hrs of the morning and when we find a secluded area, we start making out, things get hot and heavy and yup I'm getting an erection, but by the time I go put the condom on,, I start going limp, and my preformance becomes some what of a joke, I drive a 1994 Chev cavalier, and don't find it the most comfortable, I am a bit old fashion and like the bedroom sex with a bit of touching and foreplay, I'm new to the car sex scene, I guess I worry that someone is going to see and call the cops,

My girlfriend is getting annoyed and I feel that I'm not fullfiing her needs too, the other day she told me that I was boring, that kind of hurt, and didn't k ow if I should stop or keep going, I tried to keep going,(trying to change things up) I asked her for a bit more on what she liked, she told me "you know" "you'll figure it out" so I satisfied her orally, and wouldn't you know it when it came time for me to do my thing, my thing went half dead, then last night, we went to a secluded area, and I took a bit of time to get comfortable and relax thinking that maybe I need too do it before we get hot and heavy, while I was kissing her she just sat there and did nothing, I was kissing and touching, and it felt awkward, I of course went limp and had to ask what was bugging her, and then she told me she liked it a little rougher, and I was like oh, OK and the mood passed and I went to take her home, we parked in an ally by her place and talked for a bit we then started to make out again and I pleasured her orally again and I got an erection, but when it came time to put on the rubber,I started to get soft, after I was in I get my erection Back but I don't seem to be able to preform long enough,, I care about her so much, I'm worried that she is going to not want to be with me because of it, I told her I think it's because of stress, I'm not normally like this, *** is wrong with me,,

Nothings wrong with you that getting your life in order won't cure. You will be a totally different person once you do.

When you made your other post you said nothing about being homeless, or living in your car. That would have been valuable information, and important to know when asking advice.

How about coming clean with the whole story instead of the version that makes all your fears and insecurities JUSTIFIED!!

Be honest fella!!